#but I think it would make me want to rip my hair out
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reblogging comment review from @zyafics
everytime i read this series i feel like im entering the battlefield 🚬😮💨my annotations below hehe ⬇️
It was unthinkable to be contemplating about gravestones. How could you sum up your family in limited words or dates, let alone choose a font for it?
ur writing has such PERSONALITY in it, i swear to god when i read this in beta, i was so in awe
Your first thought had been telling Topper, your only real family left, but he was as much Rafe’s as he was yours, and when it came down to it, he was still his best friend. Loyal to him since they were five, and jesus knows how he’d react if he found out about this. He’d most likely freak the fuck out and tell Rafe everything, thinking he was doing the right thing, or worse, letting it slip to Ruthie.
this parallels perfectly to the first chapter where topper called rafe when reader was leaving, so not only is this paragraph giving us an at-point breakdown, but it's referring evidence that topper would slip and tell rafe
It’s then you recognized how small your world was. How few people were truly yours.
their lives are so intertwined that reader doesn't know who to turn to when she needs independence 😭 oh curse rafe and his big dick
Today, it was just you, a few kids and teens dotted along the beach with oversized trash bags. It wasn’t even noon, but the sun felt like it was scorching you alive. It was laughable, really, standing under this blistering sun with a cheap trash bag and an endless stretch of sand to clean.
this specific paragraph i wanted to highlight because i thought it was so descriptive and imaginative, but simplistic in a way that didn't feel like it was purple prose.
The kids were watching you again, with that look of curiosity. You couldn’t look them in the eye. It wasn’t their fault. They just didn’t understand that sometimes the grown-ups didn’t know what they were doing either.
the last line EATS BITCH IT EATS
“You should sit down.”
oh suck a dick
It was hard to believe the two of you had once burned hotter than any bonfire, two people who got under each other’s skin, in love, and in hate.
in love to hate omg
Instead, he narrowed his eyes, “You think I don’t know what fine looks like? I was there.”
THIS IS SO COLD BUT IT SHOWED HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO WELL, HOW INTERTWINED THEY ARE WITH ONE ANOTHER
And the worst part? You could see that frustration in his eyes, the same look he used to give you when he’d reached his limit with you.You wondered if he ever got to that point with Sofia.
i would crashout
Sofia—the one who looked like she'd been ripped off from some perfect postcard, all wide-eyed sweetness and gentle smiles. She probably never challenged him, snapped back, or made him want to pull his hair out.
hm.
This was a version of you only Rafe could bring out.
they're so toxic and dynamic and i love them
Your chest hurt like you’d been run over a hundred times—it felt suffocating. “I hate you.”For the first time, you thought he might actually leave you here.
that stopped me cold i had to write something in my diary
His fingers stopped as if your words had made an impact, his lips pressed into a thin line. Your vision blurred as he leaned in, his touch hovering as if to wipe away the tear running down your cheek, but he didn’t, instead, he closed his hand into a fist and drew back, his face just inches from yours. A faint, humorless smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he clicked the seatbelt into place. He made a low humming noise, that thing he did when he was getting ready to make someone feel two inches tall. "Yeah? Get in line."
LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN I'M LISTENING TO BAD OMENS BY 5SOS AND IT'S AT THE BEATS AND WHILE I READ THIS, IT FITTED PERFECTLY OHMYGOD
Rafe drove fast, every rev of the engine matching the churning in your stomach perfectly. You sat there, trembling, the dread building with every mile that passed. You gripped the seatbelt so hard it felt like your entire body might go numb, and stared straight ahead, breathing shallow, trying to ignore the sting in your eyes.
i wanted to highlight this specific paragraph because i adore the writing, something about it made me feel every single atom of the scene
“Would you stop?” His voice softened for the first time, as if he was trying to reach some part of you that he thought still cared. “You look like you haven’t slept in days, like you haven’t eaten anything that wasn’t out of a vending machine. I know you don’t want my help, but can you just stop for a second and—”“And what?” you interrupted.“And think! If you don’t get in there, I’ll drag you in myself.”Your heart raced, “You wouldn’t dare.”Rafe stepped closer; his jaw set in determination. “Try me.”“You’re not coming in."He blinked like the idea hadn’t even occurred to him. “What?”
HE DIDN'T EXPECT THAT SHIT NO NO
“Yeah, I got someone.”
that's right baby tell em
💌 — ugh, something about this part has been so dynamic, in the way it's constructed, the way it flows so naturally, the way the dialogues are so emotionally-charged but bounces off one another seamlessly. it was like i was watching a perfectly-curated film, where the dialogues were performed by seasoned actors. i love love their arguments. i love how intense it always gets, how they have this push-pull against each other, this hate-love, this line they can't even comprehend nor define. and i love how you written it so beautifully, that you communicate the intensity and depth of this relationship but aggression, tension, and hurt.
LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - FIVE
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mention of pregnancy; abortion; lack of self-care
You’ve had to make a lot of unfortunate decisions in your life.
Choosing a place for your entire family to rest for eternity, picking the caskets, the headstones—it felt like deciding which curtains to buy for the house, except you were burying your entire close family.
After the crash, your parents were gone instantly, just like that—no goodbyes, no warning, just there one moment and gone the next.
But your sister survived. Three days. You thought maybe that was a sign, she’d live despite everything, and you wouldn’t be left alone.
Two weeks later, the doctors told you it was time, but you couldn’t accept it. You held her hand, begging her to stay, telling her every promise you could think of if she opened her eyes.
When the monitors finally went flat, you couldn’t feel anything but desperation. Rafe had to pull you out of there, his arms locked around you while you kicked and screamed, sobbing and begging your sister not to go, not to leave you here.
You fought him with everything you had left, clawing, crying, pleading for just one more second. You were screaming so loud you didn’t even recognize your voice. Everything good had been ripped away from your hands, there was nothing left of the world you’d known.
After that, you remember sitting in some stuffy funeral home office, skimming through catalogs and hardly seeing the pages through your tears. The caskets all looked the same, the types of wood made no difference to you, fabric linings, all of it felt so wrong.
None of it was a choice you should have to make.
It was unthinkable to be contemplating about gravestones. How could you sum up your family in limited words or dates, let alone choose a font for it?
You just picked something neutral and blank, something that didn’t require thought or emotion because, by then, you had nothing left to give.
Now you were trapped again, caught between a rock and a hard place.
Your first thought had been telling Topper, your only real family left, but he was as much Rafe’s as he was yours, and when it came down to it, he was still his best friend. Loyal to him since they were five, and jesus knows how he’d react if he found out about this. He’d most likely freak the fuck out and tell Rafe everything, thinking he was doing the right thing, or worse, letting it slip to Ruthie.
Ruthie—no chance you’d involve her. She’d just see this as another fucked up piece of gossip she could hold over your head, another way to judge or control you. She was “friend” only in the loosest sense of the word.
Kelce was the last person you’d consider turning to for something this serious. He has always been there, but you never got close. He was too much of an instigator, always pushing Rafe to do reckless things he’d regret later, peer pressuring him in ways that made you wonder if he even knew what loyalty meant. He had this weird loyalty to Ruthie, defending her comments as if she was some misunderstood angel when really, she was just… mean.
So that left Sarah.
It felt weird, thinking of her as the person you’d call on for something so serious, she was the only one who felt… safe. She wouldn’t judge, wouldn’t pry, she’d seen what the worst kind of family conflict could do, and she’d keep this private, just for you.
It’s then you recognized how small your world was. How few people were truly yours.
You were pretty sure no one in this town would fully understand, they’d just offer their "advice," as if they knew you, seen what you’d been through.
The truth was, they didn’t know shit. They hadn't seen you holding your sister’s hand, begging her to stay alive. They didn’t know what it was like to bury everything that made you feel like a person, like you belonged somewhere, and have to get up the next day like nothing happened.
Nine days, you would be halfway across the country, and you needed someone. You pictured saying it out loud: “I’m pregnant", just those two words, to someone’s face, you had no idea what to say next.
Maybe you’d tell them that it wasn’t about wanting it gone out of spite or shame, but because you couldn’t bring a child into a world where you felt this alone.
Earlier that morning, you’d stared down at your phone, thumb itching to click on Sarah’s name, like just pressing "call" could fix everything. You despised how needy it made you feel—reaching out, when you’d prided yourself on surviving alone.
You didn’t have much time to ponder about it, because you were stuck at the beach cleanup.
Just like every other summer, another "social responsibility" event that your late father’s foundation insisted you smile through. Even back then, when they were alive, your summers were a carousel of charity galas, fundraisers, endless hours of small talk, and impeccably arranged seating charts.
The board members of the foundation probably thought it would “ground” you—remind you of your privilege, of your “responsibility” to give back. As if a couple of hours and a few bags of garbage would somehow balance the scales. They never seemed to understand how much of it was all for show, this shallow idea that if you looked the part, no one would care to learn more.
But, still, you’d show up. You always did. Smile, make just enough small talk to appease the right people.
Today, it was just you, a few kids and teens dotted along the beach with oversized trash bags. It wasn’t even noon, but the sun felt like it was scorching you alive. It was laughable, really, standing under this blistering sun with a cheap trash bag and an endless stretch of sand to clean.
Kie, who was so genuinely invested in this whole “save the planet” thing it was almost enviable was there too with JJ, who was running around her as usual, wearing his ‘I’m just here for the ride’ expression but enjoying himself. The love between them made you miss having someone who cared in ways that weren’t just calculated moves.
She waved at you from the shoreline, her eyes moving to the trash bag you were barely half-filling.
You weren’t friends, but if Sarah liked her, you did too.
You offered a faint smile back, tired, because between all the shit you’d been thinking about, you'd forgotten to eat, to drink anything, and every time you leaned down to grab another crumpled plastic bottle or a bit of seaweed-laden garbage, you felt like your legs were about to give out on you.
Every now and then, she would throw a quick, appraising glance your way, like she was expecting you to miraculously become invested in the beach’s ecosystem.
You didn’t have it in you to pretend this was enjoyable today. The “effortless” philanthropy your family loved was a lifestyle you’d never bought into. It didn’t matter how many smiling photos of you had ended up on some charity’s social media—you knew you’d rather be anywhere else.
You had to take a break every few minutes, leaning against a pier post, trying to get yourself together as a few of the younger kids gave you wary glances. You could have left—probably should have.
You managed a tight-lipped smile, giving a thumbs-up that said, Just doing great over here, guys!
You were in a long t-shirt, which hung over your bikini and shorts, the fabric slightly oversized, to help hide what was still a small change in your body. Paranoia was your new best friend, always worrying that someone would notice something different, even if you didn’t have a noticeable bump yet.
Bending down to grab another plastic bottle, you felt a stab of nausea hit you hard, rolling up from your stomach, thick and sour, but you ignored it. Not here. Not now.
You straightened up too fast, and your vision blurred slightly, that familiar sense of vertigo hitting you. You took a shallow breath, ignoring the burn at the back of your throat, your hands shaking slightly as you adjusted the bag slung over your shoulder.
One girl looked up at you with these wide eyes kids like to pull, “Are you okay?”
You smiled, brushing it off as if you weren’t about two seconds away from collapsing. “Of course. Just... need a second.”
The kids were watching you again, with that look of curiosity. You couldn’t look them in the eye. It wasn’t their fault. They just didn’t understand that sometimes the grown-ups didn’t know what they were doing either.
Just a few more bags of trash and you’d be able to get back to your car, maybe grab some water from the cooler in the trunk, sit down, and think about it.
This used to be easy, you got a weird kind of enjoyment from these cleanups, running around with your sister, making it a competition to see who could pick up the most trash, laughing until your stomachs hurt over stupid jokes about jellyfish and sunscreen. Back then, this was just one of a thousand little family traditions, one of those things that felt effortless.
Now, sweat dripped down the back of your neck, making your skin prickle uncomfortably.
You’d long given up wiping it away, knowing that it would only come back thicker and hotter the next second. Every instinct told you to run off to the parking lot, and sit in the car with the AC blasting until your body remembered it didn’t hate you.
Leaning down for one last bottle wedged in the sand, your legs wobbled and gave way beneath you. Just like that, your vision was spotty, as if someone had turned down the brightness on the entire beach, and you pitched forward.
Just as you felt yourself going down, a hand caught your arm, pulling you back up.
"Whoa, whoa, you okay?" A teenage boy, maybe sixteen, gripped your arm firmly, keeping you upright.
How much longer could they realistically expect you to go on, plastering on that sweet, dutiful smile? How much “grounding” could one person take?
You blinked, trying to clear the haze in your eyes, "I’m fine. Just a little lightheaded, really, it’s fine,” you insisted, but then a shadow loomed beside you.
Your vision was so foggy that it took seconds for you to register it.
You looked up slowly, feeling a familiar drop in your stomach as you realized who it was.
The last time you’d been this close to him, the two of you had been screaming insults across the room, Lily having to physically step in. She’d forced him to leave before you two killed each other. It was a miracle you hadn’t punched him then and there.
“You should sit down.”
It felt like a sidekick to your chest.
The sound of his voice was grinding on your nerves, and just like that you were stuck back in your dream, a real memory, leaning against him, his hand playing with a strand of your hair as he laughed at something you’d said, the two of you carefree under a golden sunset.
Except this was real.
Rafe was shirtless, with his board tucked under one arm, surf wax staining his fingers, and the sun glinting off his damp skin, like he was God’s gift to the Outer Banks. His buzzed hair was dark and wet, droplets trailing down his temples and catching along his jawline. His cheeks were flushed, a little red from the heat.
You looked away, somewhere over his shoulder, anywhere but at him, refusing to let him see you in this fragile state.
“Go away. I’m fine.”
But he didn’t move.
He’d been summoned from your absolute worst memories, catching you at your lowest when you least wanted his help. Typical.
“No,” he refused firmly, with that stupid, stubborn look that made you want to throw something at his head. “I’ve seen you almost fall three times now.”
“Maybe if you stopped looking at me like a creep, you wouldn’t have to see me ‘almost fall.”
“I wasn’t—"
You grounded your teeth, “Just go back to surfing.”
Rafe let out a dry laugh, shaking his head as if you were the one acting crazy. “Yeah, 'cause you look perfectly stable right now.”
He'd always been a master of the passive-aggressive half-sneer, the art of making you feel like everyone else was imposing on his day, no matter the situation.
“Don’t act like you care.” you snapped, voice carrying over the sand, earning a few glances from nearby kids.
He ran a hand over his face, looking around as if he didn’t want to be there any more than you did, mouth pressed into a tight line. You wanted to scream that this was his fault too, that every choice he’d made led to you standing here alone, exhausted, and terrified.
“Water would help, y’know”, his tone just shy of patronizing “You can’t go around dehydrating yourself just to make a point.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Your fingers twitched with the urge to send him stumbling to the other side of the beach, you knew that any sudden movement would make you light-headed again, and the last thing you wanted was to give him more proof of your weakness.
The kid—still standing there, eyes wide and darting between you both—looked like he was watching a reality TV show when Kiara appeared at your side.
“Let’s not do this here,” she begged under her breath, handing you a bottle of water she’d brought over, a kindness you didn’t want but couldn’t reject. “Just sit down for a second, please?”
JJ followed, always with that air of easygoing nonchalance, but his eyes were serious as he glanced from you to Rafe.
“She’s right. Just take a second, yeah?” He looked over at Rafe, “Maybe you should leave,” he said pointedly.
“Maybe you should mind your fuckin’ business Maybank.”
“Look, uh,” the kid stammered, knowing he could get caught in the crossfire. “I’ll… I’ll go see if anyone needs help further down the beach…”
You waved him off, your focus still locked on Rafe as the kid all but bolted away, you didn’t want anyone to think they had to “rescue” you.
You tried to take a step back, but the little strength you had in you disappeared as you felt your knees wobble.
"Jesus," you heard him groan, and then his hands were on your arms, board on the sand, holding you as you stumbled. "I told you to sit down."
You shook his hands off, "Don’t tell me what to do.”
It was hard to believe the two of you had once burned hotter than any bonfire, two people who got under each other’s skin, in love, and in hate.
He let out an exasperated sigh while you took a sip from the water Kiara handed you, ignoring how your hands were still shaking around the bottle.
She spoke again, trying to be the voice of reason, "We’re here to help the community, remember?"
JJ smirked, "Yeah, think the sea turtles are rooting for y’all to work out your issues somewhere else.”
You ignored his joke, keeping your eyes on Rafe, your pride and stubbornness refusing to let him win, “I’m fine.”
“Yeah?”
He looked you over, his gaze fixed to your warm cheeks and the dewy sheen across your temple, “You look real fine, don’t you?” He didn’t even try to cloak his sarcasm.
God, he could be so exasperating.
He couldn’t understand. How could he even think he could look at you now and know anything about who you were? Standing there, with that stupid board and that look, like he couldn’t imagine anything bothering him as much as this seemed to be bothering you.
As if he hadn’t already ruined you in so many ways that felt impossible to get over.
“Don’t you have something better to do?”
“Oh, believe me, I do,” he drawled, his eyes trailing from the waves back to you.
You were tired of this game, of fighting him every time he showed up only to leave you feeling even emptier than before.
Your fists clenched, and you opened your mouth to hurl something back, but the dizziness hit you again. Before you could compose yourself, Rafe’s arm wrapped around your waist, strong and frustratingly secure, holding you upright with an ease that made your skin crawl.
He had seen you at your weakest, had been there at the hospital after the accident, keeping you together when you were certain you’d break.
Yet, here you were, in a sick way, back in his arms, all broken apart.
“That’s it. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“I hate to say it, but he’s right,” JJ chimed in, hand shielding his eyes from the sun.
The world alone had all kinds of alarms going off in your brain. You fought back instinctively, your hands pushing at his chest, freeing your arm.
“I told you, I’m fine.”
He let go, but he didn’t back away.
Instead, he narrowed his eyes, “You think I don’t know what fine looks like? I was there.”
He was there. And you didn’t want to be reminded of it, not in front of other people.
He meant the exhaustion and hunger pains you’d welcomed after your family was gone, embraced even, because it meant you wouldn’t have to feel anything else.
You’d wanted to disappear, and he’d been there—dragging you back, forcing you to drink water and swallow bites of food, even when you pushed him away. He’d seen you at your absolute lowest, where you didn’t care if you made it through the day.
The thought of the hospital, tests, questions, you fought it, but your vision was already blurring.
You couldn’t let him find out about the baby.
Your breathing felt tighter, each shallow breath only making the spinning worse, you could sense your body giving in to the exhaustion
“Shit,” you heard him curse, sounding distant now like he was farther away.
You felt yourself sway as if the ground was opening beneath you, there was a ringing in your ears that made his voice sound muffled but you still felt his arms catching you again, holding you upright before you fell.
Waking up in a moving vehicle was like emerging from a nightmare, except somehow, this was worse, because you were no longer at the beach.
You blinked hard, desperate to wipe the fogginess in your eyes and when it did go away, you realized who was behind the wheel.
Rafe.
Your heart pounded—your desperation to keep the baby a secret, how you almost passed out at the beach, and the fact that now he was most likely driving you to the hospital.
“What the hell are you doing?” you practically screamed, your voice hoarse from the lack of water.
He didn’t spare you a glance, “You passed out, genius. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
Your whole body went rigid. “Are you insane?”
“Me?” He scoffed, as he kept his focus on the road. “You practically ate sand back there. You’re not fine.”
“Turn the car around. I’ll call my driver and be fine.” You huffed like he was too dumb to understand. “I don’t need your help.”
He let out a dry laugh, still not looking at you.
“Yeah. You’re out of your mind if you think I’m letting you out of this car right now.”
“Rafe, I’m not kidding,” you warned, louder this time. “Stop. The. Car.”
He gave you a sideways glance, his grip on the wheel tightening.
“Not happening.”
Your heart hammered as you realized he wasn’t going to back down, you were driven by sheer desperation.
“Fine, then I’ll do it myself." you muttered, reaching for the door handle.
Anything to get out of this suffocating car before he dragged you all the way to the ER and they found out you were pregnant—with his baby, no less.
His eyes widened, finally snapping from the road to your hand on the handle.
“Are you crazy? Get your hand off that, I’m fuckin' serious.”
You yanked at it anyway, twisting the handle and pulling with spiteful defiance, and Rafe’s expression went from annoyed to full-on rage. He swerved the car to the side of the road, tires skidding as he slammed the brakes and practically threw the car into park.
Before he could even stop fully, you flung the door open and stumbled out, sandals sinking into the gravel as you stalked away.
You didn’t get more than a few feet, he was already bolting after you.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you muttered, digging your nails into your palms.
How the hell had it come to this? You were stuck here, pregnant with his child, and he played the reluctant hero like you needed him swooping in to save you.
Rafe reached you in two strides, his fingers were digging into his forehead, pointing at it with exasperation imprinted into every corner of his face.
“Are you out of your fuckin' mind?” He sounded like he was talking to some unruly child.
And the worst part? You could see that frustration in his eyes, the same look he used to give you when he’d reached his limit with you.
You wondered if he ever got to that point with Sofia.
What would he do if she was the one almost fainting? Would he still look like she was some colossal burden, or would he soften, maybe even smile as he fussed over her, acting like he wanted to help?
You hated yourself for caring at all.
Sofia—the one who looked like she'd been ripped off from some perfect postcard, all wide-eyed sweetness and gentle smiles. She probably never challenged him, snapped back, or made him want to pull his hair out.
There was no way he’d look at her like she was a mess, someone he just had to “deal with.” He likely saw her as easy, perfect, all soft and sweet words, everything you weren’t.
This wasn’t who you wanted to be, and yet here you were, stumbling around half-dead and pregnant with his child.
“I’m sorry, am I bothering you?” You spat the words, watching his jaw clench tighter.
He exhaled sharply, rolling his eyes.
“Unbelievable. Only you could take me trying to help and turn it into this.”
You were done. You were done with the memories, with the torment of seeing him be something better for someone else.
“Help?” You laughed bitterly, the anger engulfing you so hard it felt as if it choking you. “You think this is help? That I need you, of all people?”
He took a step back, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I'm trying to help."
You hated how calm he was, how rational he sounded.
It was maddening when all you wanted was for him to get angry, to let that icy surface crack, to give you even a glimpse of something real, something that wasn’t just irritation or sarcasm.
You wanted proof that he still was affected by you, that this was the same guy who used to be everything, who’d promised you everything.
But you swallowed it down, straightening up, because there was no way in hell, you’d let him see even a hint of weakness.
“Trust me,” you shot back, “I’ll be just fine without you.”
He raised an eyebrow, a bitter smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, “Get in the car.”
“No,” you said, firm and unyielding, every inch of you screaming that you wouldn’t let him decide anything for you ever again.
“Fine. Have it your way.”
In one swift move, he reached out, his hands gripping your arms with enough pressure to pull you forward, lifting you clean off your feet. Your breath caught in a furious gasp as he practically dragged you back to the car, his fingers warm against your skin, like you were just a mild convenience.
“Put me down!”
You struggled against his hold, jabbing at his chest with what little strength you could muster, but he didn’t even flinch, didn’t so much as hesitate.
“Rafe, I swear—”
He opened the passenger door with one hand, keeping a firm grip on you with the other, before finally setting you down—not gently—onto the seat. Without meaning to, tears began falling as you struggled against his hands. You could feel them wetting your cheeks, your voice was breaking, jumping to distress as you tried to twist out of his hold, feeling so small under his unrelenting strength.
He almost knelt in front of you, reaching for the seat belt with one hand, while his other remained firmly on your shoulder, holding you still. You felt trapped, impresioned as you tried to turn in every direction, hands weakly pushing him back, but he caught them effortlessly.
“Stop!” you meekly choked out, failing to shove him, the words coming out shameful.
You could feel your heart breaking all over again.
You hated that he was seeing you like this, how he dared to act like you needed him—it made your skin crawl. You hated that he could do this, like he had any right like you’d ever wanted him involved in this part of your life, let alone now.
This was a version of you only Rafe could bring out.
You glared up at him, practically shaking with rage as Rafe ignored your protests like you were nothing more than a child throwing a fit.
“Get your hands off me.”
His jaw tightened, ignoring the flailing punches and slaps grazing him, and you couldn’t stop the sob that escaped, loud and ugly.
“I’m not letting you kill yourself out of spite.”
Your chest hurt like you’d been run over a hundred times—it felt suffocating. “I hate you.”
For the first time, you thought he might actually leave you here.
His fingers stopped as if your words had made an impact, his lips pressed into a thin line. Your vision blurred as he leaned in, his touch hovering as if to wipe away the tear running down your cheek, but he didn’t, instead, he closed his hand into a fist and drew back, his face just inches from yours.
A faint, humorless smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he clicked the seatbelt into place. He made a low humming noise, that thing he did when he was getting ready to make someone feel two inches tall.
"Yeah? Get in line."
Without another word, he pulled back, slamming the door shut, and walking around to the driver’s side.
You wiped at your cheeks, furious that he’d seen you like this, that he had the power to break you down. It was humiliating, sitting here in his car, every part of your body screaming to escape.
He got in, started the engine, neither of you spoke.
Rafe drove fast, every rev of the engine matching the churning in your stomach perfectly. You sat there, trembling, the dread building with every mile that passed. You gripped the seatbelt so hard it felt like your entire body might go numb, and stared straight ahead, breathing shallow, trying to ignore the sting in your eyes.
You bit back another wave of nausea. Weakness.
You’d already shown him too much.
You didn’t need a lecture from some doctor on how you “should’ve taken better care of yourself", let alone with Rafe there, watching, scrutinizing, acting like this was his business when he’d made it clear long ago that it wasn’t. He was in your space in the worst way, reopening all the wounds.
You were seething. He had no right to do this.
The thought made you want to drop dead—doctor would walk in, casually drop the news about the baby, and you'd be left watching his reaction in real time.
You looked at the entrance to the ER. The vision of anyone running tests, of some well-meaning nurse, coming in and spilling everything about the baby in front of him—no way. You wouldn’t let that happen.
He wasted no time getting out, moving around to your side, while you sat rigidly, staring straight ahead. His hand was already on the door, yanking it open, looking down at you like he was ready to drag you inside if he had to.
You weren’t moving. You knew the second you stepped inside, it would be over.
“C’mon,” Rafe pressed, his hand outstretched, hovering there like he thought he could compel you to listen. “Stop being so stubborn.”
You crossed your arms over your stomach, refusing to meet his eyes.
“I’m not going in.”
Rafe let out a sigh, nearing his limit, and knelt down to your level.
“Look, you passed out. I’m not leaving until you get checked out.”
“You’re gonna be here for a while then.”
“Would you stop?” His voice softened for the first time, as if he was trying to reach some part of you that he thought still cared. “You look like you haven’t slept in days, like you haven’t eaten anything that wasn’t out of a vending machine. I know you don’t want my help, but can you just stop for a second and—”
“And what?” you interrupted.
“And think! If you don’t get in there, I’ll drag you in myself.”
Your heart raced, “You wouldn’t dare.”
Rafe stepped closer; his jaw set in determination. “Try me.”
“You’re not coming in."
He blinked like the idea hadn’t even occurred to him. “What?”
Maybe he was seeing the protection you’d built up around yourself since he left, how there was no longer any crack left open for him to slip through.
“I don’t need you. I don’t want you in there.”
“Fine.” His tone was clipped, restrained. “But I’ll be right here.”
You slammed the door shut behind you, not letting him your legs still shaking. You’d rather collapse face-first into the concrete than give him the satisfaction of listening to him.
“Yeah, you do that,” you replied, turning and walking toward the entrance, refusing to look back.
Stepping inside, you felt a slight tremor run through you—part relief, part panic. The lights were too bright, almost white. Your heart wobbled, replaying how he’d been such a fucking asshole to you.
You’d forgotten how mean he could be, how easily he could go from angry to something so frigid it made you want to cry yourself to sleep.
“Hi there,” The receptionist greeted, her eyes moving over you with a professional once-over, “What brings you in today?”
You forced a small smile, knowing she wouldn’t buy it.
“Just…got a little dehydrated, that’s all.”
“Okay…let’s just get some basic information.” She clicked into her computer, her fingers poised over the keyboard. “Name?”
You cleared your throat, rattling off your full name, she nodded, typing it in.
“Have you experienced any other symptoms besides dizziness?”
“Nothing serious,” you replied, dismissively. “It’s just the heat, like I said. I just need some water and I’ll be good as new.”
This had to be a fucking nightmare you got sucked in, you could sense your blood pressure spike.
She tapped her screen and glanced back at you.
“Alright, Miss Thornton, it looks like we’ll just need a few quick details here to get you all checked in. Can I start with your insurance provider?”
A chuckle almost slipped out of you. Insurance—God, you were fine with insurance. What you weren’t okay with was everything else. You answered, “Blue Cross.”
She asked for your birthdate, which you gave on autopilot, hoping she’d skip any weird or invasive questions. “Any allergies?”
You shook your head. Please, just let this be over.
“It’s really not a big deal,” You blurted out, giving her a thin smile and forcing calm into your voice. “I just need the IV. You know, standard stuff.”
“Of course, dear. We’ll get things started, it will include routine tests, like bloodwork, just to be safe.”
Bloodwork. Perfect. You were doing everything you could to keep from falling into that spiraling panic mode.
Please, just get me in, get me out, and don’t find anything.
“Just head down to Room 12.”
All you could think was that you wanted this to be over—before the whole town, or worse, he, found out. It made you want to scream. He was the last person who should be outside.
This was his fault. You’d never be here if he hadn’t shown up.
The next hour passed in seconds—questions, forms, an IV drip.
They’d done blood work, too, but you’d sighed in relief when they’d told you the results wouldn’t be ready immediately. As far as they knew, you’d just overdone it, and now, as you lay on a cot in a room that reeked of sick people, all they’d prescribed was rest, hydration, and food.
When the nurse asked if anyone could pick you up, the thought of calling someone, asking them to see you like this, made you delirious. You didn’t need anyone; you were perfectly fine on your own.
But you also didn’t want Rafe and his delusional ass to barge through the doors.
The nurse moved around you awkwardly, eyes still expectant, as if you were just a button away from a reliable “someone” to come running.
You looked at her, controlling the compulsion to yell. Little people ever bothered to check on you, to show up for more than just the drama or gossip.
Out of them, only one face bounced around in your head.
“Yeah, I got someone.”
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Klaus Mikaelson x Soulmate!Reader x Elijah Mikaelson Pt. 22
Word Count- 12.8k
Warnings-swearing, violence, mentions of bad parents, alcoholism, Mikeal and his abuse, self-loathing
Soulmates. What the hell are soulmates? Well, obviously I know what the definition of a soulmate is but what the hell does it mean in the supernatural world? Neither of the two Salvatores that drove me home last night were very chatty about it.
“Fables is what it is, Y/n.”
That is all Demon told me last night when he walked me to my front door. After I watched the two brothers drive off I stayed up for hours, actual hours, 5 to be exact, pacing my room waiting for Elijah to keep good to his word and come see me to explain what the hell happened tonight. But with the morning light streaming in my bedroom window, I realize that once again holding a man to his promise is never something I should do.
—
I stare blankly at the multiple unread text messages and missed calls from Elena. All morning she’s been trying to call me but right now I don’t have the energy to handle whatever she wants to talk about, especially since it’s probably something that everyone else knows and I’m the last one to find out, per usual.
When I haven’t been staring at my phone, I’ve been staring up at my white ceiling, replaying the events of last night in my head over and over again. Last night when I was up waiting for Elijah I researched everything I could possibly find on soulmates. But the more I read the more I started to freak the fuck out so I had to stop that for my own sanity. Which is ironic because I honestly don’t think I have any sanity left in me to spare.
“Damn, you look like shit,” Theo’s obnoxious voice comes from an open doorway.
“Leave, Gremlin,” I groan as I grab a pillow and hold it over my face.
“Nope, sorry,” I hear his voice and then the pillow is ripped away from me, “Your depression is stinking up the house and I don’t need it affecting me. So get your ass up. We’re going clubbing.”
I move nothing but my eyes as I look at my brother.
“We live in Mystic Falls. Where the hell would we go clubbing?”
Theo thinks to himself for a moment before tapping his chin, “Alright. Good point. See this is why we work, you're the brains,” He points to me, “And I’m the beauty.”
“Leave me to rot,” I groan and try to reach for the pillow and he swats my hand.
“Back, demon! Listen, get your ass up I’m hungry and I’m going to give you the honor of buying me lunch,” Theo declares like this is some great prize I’ve won.
“No thanks,” I grab my blanket and cover my face with it.
A moment later my blanket it being ripped off of me, “Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n, I swear to the heavens above I will grab the garden hose and drench this entire room and yourself with it if you’re not in the car in 5 minutes,” Theo glares at me and then leans down and picks at a piece of my hair with disgust clear on his face, “Actually make that 10 minutes, you need to kick whatever family of rats is living in that mess you call hair.”
I go to complain but Theo shushes me, “I mean it! I’ll get the goddamn hose!”
I watch Theo dramatically stomp out of my room and I let out a sigh.
—
“I hate you,” I say to my brother as he holds open the door to The Grill for me.
Theo sends me a sweet smile, “No one could hate this face.”
I roll my eyes and begin to walk to an empty table when I notice Caroline and Elena sitting together at a table in front of us.
Shit.
I try to blend into the crowd but my obnoxious brother ruins that.
“Elena! Hey, Elena,” Theo’s voice booms throughout the restaurant and I instantly try to make myself as small as possible when I notice people turning to look at us.
“Theo, stop,” I hit my brother in the stomach but he just grabs my hand and pulls me along.
We get to the girl's table in no time, thanks to Theo’s sprinting, and Elena instantly sits up in her seat when she sees me.
“Hey, Y/n,” Elena smiles softly at me and I nod my head at her and then send a smile to Caroline.
“I’m sorry about your Dad, Caroline. Damon told me this morning,” I say softly to her and she nods.
“Thanks, Y/n. And I was going to tell you myself but I just forgot,” Caroline reasons, and Stefan’s words from last night come barreling through my head.
“Y/n?”
I shake my head clear and then try to pull a smile on my face, “Ya, totally. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ve tried to call you,” Elena tries to get my attention and I don’t meet her eyes.
“Ya, I forgot to charge my phone last night,” I lie and she looks at me as if she’s not sure she believes me.
“Oh, okay. Um,” She goes silent for a moment before gesturing to the table, “Would you guys like to join us? We’re talking about the Mikaelson’s throwing their weird ball. Their mother invited me personally because she wants to speak to me about something.”
At Elena’s words, I frown in confusion, “Who are you talking about? Who are the Mikaelsons?”
“Wait! A party?! There’s going to be a party,” Theo’s practically jumping in place as he looks wide-eyed at the two girls.
Elena looks at me confused for a second before lowering her head, “The Originals. They’re the Mikaelsons. We got invites this morning to attend their ball tonight,” Elena frowns sadly, “Did you not get one?”
A tightness in my chest builds at her pitiful look and I am sent back to my childhood when I would be the only kid in class who never got an invite to any of the other kid’s birthday parties.
“Naw, we haven’t got anything,” Theo chimes in for me and I feel and lower his hand to wrap his pinky around mine, “Yet. But like honestly even if we do get invites, which we will because anyone who doesn’t invite the Y/L/N siblings are losers, we probably won’t go,” Theo says and looks at his nails as if the conversation is now boring him.
Caroline raises an eyebrow, “Why not?’
I can see Theo look over to me and then back to Caroline, “We’re going clubbing.”
I release a deep sigh at my brother’s words.
“You guys are going clubbing?”
Caroline and Elena share a look and then I can see Elena look up to me, “And you agreed to this?”
I look down at Elena and an annoying wave of embarrassment washes through me. Even though I know they’re not judging me right now there’s that back part in my brain telling me they know someone like me isn’t cool enough to do anything like that, which is why I agree.
“Yup. It’s how we bond,” I say, nodding and glancing at my nails. Mimicking my brother who I can see from the corner of my eye, has a huge grin on his face.
“So, are you two going to this dance?” I try to act nonchalantly.
Caroline shakes her head, “Hell no! It’s some twisted Cinderella fetish is what it is. And Klaus only invited me to piss off Tyler.”
Klaus. Invited her.
“Klaus?”
My voice comes out pathetic, weak, and strangled and I feel Theo squeeze his pinky against mine.
“Ya, he sent me a dress and everything,” Caroline says dramatically as if she doesn’t notice my change in demeanor, “It’s totally weird. Also,” Caroline looks at Elena, “Why does the evil witch want an audience with you?”
“Evil witch?”
Theo and I say in union and Elena looks up at us, “That was who was in the last coffin. The mother that Klaus killed…actually not so dead.”
I blink at what she says and feel my breathing speed up.
Elena looks back at Caroline, “I have no idea. There’s only one way to find out.”
Caroline sighs, “I thought you told Damon and Stefan that you weren’t going.”
Great so it seems everyone knows about this dance.
Elena nods, “I did, which is all the more reason why I need a drama-free bodyguard.”
“Well, I think a Salvaotre would look a lot better in a tux, and by that, I mean Stefan.”
“Fuck that asshole,” Theo snarls catching Caroline and Elena off guard.
“Theo, language,” I warn lightly but honestly don’t care enough to chastise him much.
Theo shakes his head defiantly, “Hell no. Elena, you can’t be seriously thinking about getting back together with the man who threatened to kill you and your best friend?!”
Theo’s uncharacteristic outburst seems to startle both of the girls and Elena shakes her head, “No, of course not. I can’t deal with any of the Salvatores right now. Whatever Stefan’s feeling, he’s channeling it all against Klaus and Damon… it’s not a good idea.”
Theo nods his head seemingly accepting her answer but as I stare at him something in his eyes tells me he’s not 100% convinced.
Caroline and Elena converse for another moment about Elena kissing Damon and I can’t help but feel like nothing more than a fly on the wall again, just like I did last year and every year before.
“Hey,” Theo leans down to whisper in my ear, “You good?”
I don’t meet my brother’s eyes because if there’s anyone in this world who could point out my lies it’s him so all I do is nod.
“Careful Y/n, Caroline, and Theo. It’s all well and good until she stabs you in the back,” A feminine British accent has me lifting my head and the sight of Rebekah surprises me.
“What are you doing here? I know your mom’s rules. No hurting the locals,” Elena accuses.
Rebekah glares down at Elena, “Get over yourself, Elena. It’s not all about you,” Rebekah tells her and begins to walk away but stops when she gets to me.
“Meet me outside in 5 minutes would you, luv? I want us to have a little chat,” Rebekah smiles at me and I for some reason find myself nodding.
All four of us watch Rebekah walk off over to Matt. Rebekah pulls out an envelope from her purse and hands it to the blonde boy.
“Even the busboy got an invite,” I can hear Theo practically snarl under his breath.
“Oh my God,” Caroline gasped, “She’s inviting him to the ball. Why is she inviting him?”
“Probably to get this reaction from us,” Elena says and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
“Or maybe she just wants a date,” I say under my breath and I hear Theo chuckle from beside me.
Caroline huffs in sits back in her chair, “What time is this stupid dance?”
At Carolie’s words my heart plummets. I’m not entirely sure why. I mean who cares that she was invited by Klaus? Was gifted a dress by Klaus. Is going to dance with Klaus. I mean who cares right?!? Not me!
“We’re leaving,” I mutter to Theo grab his hand and begin pulling him.
“Wait,” I hear Elena call to me and I sigh, “You’re not actually going to talk with Rebekah, right?” I shrug my shoulders and stare at her annoyed, “Why wouldn’t I?”
Elena looks at me like I’ve grown two heads, “She’s evil, Y/n! You can’t trust her,” Elena tries to reason and I raise my eyebrows in disbelief.
“Coming from the girl that quite literally stabbed her in the back.”
Elena blinks, shocked at my words.
“Why are you acting like this?”
“I’m not acting like anything, Elena. I’m just relaying the information that has been told to me. Just like everything else that happens in this town,” I smile at her sarcastically and then turn around grabbing Theo’s hand.
“We’re leaving.”
—-
“Damn, woman,” Theo says as I pull him out the door into the parking lot, “What’s got you in such a bad mood?”
I shake my head, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I deny and Theo comes to stand in front of me with his arms crossed.
“You can pull that denial shit with anyone else in this town, except me bitch. You and me, came from the same womb so that technically means we can read each other’s minds. So whatever you’re doing,” He raises his eyebrow, “This self-sabotaging thing or whatever it is, you need to let me in.”
I stare at my younger brother and feel tears rush to my eyes. Theo must see them because the stern look on his face quickly turns to fear.
“Oh shit, tears,” He quickly shakes his hands, “Please don’t cry! I don’t know how to handle tears,” He shakes his head, “Other than my own!”
“Is there something wrong with me?”
My question seems to catch my brother off guard as he frowns, “What? Like your fashion taste? Sister we’ve already established this.”
I shake my head and push away from him, “Never mind, God, just forget it.”
“Hey,” Theo pulls me back by my shoulders so I’m facing him, “I’m sorry, okay? You know I can’t do emotion without humor and sarcasm. But, why the hell would you ask me that? Did someone say something,” Theo’s concerned eyes turn to ones filled with anger, “Because if someone did I’m going to kill them.”
I just shrug my shoulders, “It doesn’t matter. I already know the answer.”
I begin to walk over to the car but Theo once again stops me, “Hold on for a second and talk to me! Why the hell would you ever think something is wrong with you?”
I look at my brother and clench my nails into my palm, “Because there has to be,” I almost cry out. Feeling the tsunami of emotions I’ve been holding in for the past few weeks rush forward, “There has to be a reason why people don’t choose me. Why my whole life I’ve always been on the outside looking in. Watching everyone live their lives happy and free while all I do is watch and hope that one day someone will notice me watching and ask me to join. I need there to be a reason because if there’s not then…”
Theo watches me with a heartbroken expression, “Then what, Y/n?”
I wipe a stray tear off my face, “Then there’s nothing I can change. And it means that it’s just me,” I point to myself defeated, “That I was just born this way. Born to watch everyone else be the main characters in my own life.”
I stare with blurred vision up at my brother who looks defeated as he shakes his head.
“Y/n, no one thinks that about you. And I promise everyone feels that way every once and a while it’s normal,” My brother’s soothing voice only frustrates me more.
I shake my hands, “You don’t get it, Theodore! Other people may feel this way every once and a while, but,” I shove my finger into my chest harshly, “I feel this way all of the time!”
“Y/n?”
I turn to see Rebekah staring at me confused, and I quickly wipe the tears off my face. Rebekah’s face drops as she watches me and she instantly rushes towards me.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt,” She asks me look a mother coddling her child.
I shrug her away and nod my head feeling numb again, “Fine. Don’t worry about it,” I look at Theo grab the keys out of my pocket, and throw them to him, “Drive yourself home. I’m going for a walk.”
I turn around and can hear them calling after me but I don’t turn around.
—
Why the fuck did I walk?
Why the fuck did I throw a goddamn temper tantrum.
God, can I be normal for five fucking seconds!??
These thoughts run through my head over and over again until I realize I’ve made it to the Salvatore house. Which is still about a 15-minute drive, or a one-hundred-hour walk to my house. Fuck me.
I’m about to continue walking when a flash of red catches my eye.
I eye the car that Stefan tried to kill me in for a moment and then shake my head, “No, I couldn’t.”
I take another few steps and then feel a cramp in my thigh.
“Fuck it.”
—
I speed into my driveway and a laugh escapes my mouth.
I just stole a car. I JUST STOLE A FUCKING CAR.
I laugh to myself like a crazy person as I shift it into park and get out of it. I stand there admiring the stolen vehicle until I hear footsteps behind me.
“I see you’ve acquired a new vehicle,” Elijah smiles at me kindly and I fight the urge to punch him.
“I stole it,” I bite and walk past the Original and up my porch.
“Stole it?”
“Yup, stealing is when you take something that isn’t yours. Pick up a dictionary,” I snarl as I try to put my key into the lock but with my shaking hands I just keep missing.
Elijah is quiet for a moment before I feel him next to me, “Here,” He extends his hand, “Let me.”
I shake my head and keep trying, “Screw off.”
“Excuse me,” Elijah’s tone comes off as somewhat surprised and a little irritated.
“Telling someone to screw off means they don’t want you around,” I mimic my tone from before and I hear Elijah sigh.
“You’re upset with me because of last night,” He says out loud as if it’s some fucking revelation.
I finally get the key into the lock, unlock the door, and then open it.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I step inside and try to slam the door in his perfect face but it gets stopped by his perfectly polished designer shoe.
“Elskan,” Elijah nudges the door open against my weight and I glare daggers at him.
“Stop calling me that,” I bite and he furrows his eyebrows.
“Please, let me explain,” He tries to reason with me and I shake my head.
“There’s nothing to explain. If you think last night is the first time I’ve ever been let down by a man, you are horribly mistaken. Now leave me alone.”
Elijah's free hand doesn’t move from the door and I realize he’s holding a big white box with his other hand.
“I understand you’re mad at me. You have every right to be. I hate breaking my word, most importantly when it comes to you. I just hope you’ll listen to me now when I tell you how sorry I am,” He says earnestly and I glare at him.
“You’re sorry?”
Elijah nods, “I never intended to stand you up last night but there were…complications.”
I blink at him unimpressed, “Ya, you’re dead mother isn’t dead. Whoopty fucking doo.”
Elijah’s posture stiffens for a moment, “You know?”
“I’m the last one to find out it seems, but ya I do. So I’m sure mommy dearest wants you home for your little ball or whatever so why don’t you get off my porch and go home, Elijah Mikaelson,” I snarl his last name at him and he frowns.
“I understand you need some time to think,” Elijah nods his head and brings the white box up, and gestures for me to take it, “I’ll be at my family's ball tonight. I would be incredibly grateful if you would join me?”
I blink at his question and try to fight back any emotions other than anger. Elijah nods when he realizes he’s not going to get an answer right now and then places the box on the porch swing next to us.
“I hope to see you tonight,” Elijah gives me one last look before walking off the porch.
You won’t.
—
He will.
FUCKING THEODORE.
“I fucking hate you,” I glare at my little brother as I put on the stupid diamond necklace Elijah gifted me.
Theo, who stands next to me in front of my mirror smirks, “You’ll thank me later.”
I shake my head as I struggle to latch the necklace, “Hell to the no.”
Theo tightens his tie and then rolls his eyes, “Whatever,” He shoots me a look and then laughs, “Here let me help you.”
I glare at him but still let him take the necklace and latch it behind my neck.
After he latches it Theo’s eyes stay on the huge diamond necklace that adorns my neck.
“How much do you think that cost?”
I look at the huge statement diamond that hangs in the center of a dozen tinier diamonds holding the necklace together. I feel the weight of the diamonds, against my chest and cringe.
“Too much,” I look at the huge off-white gown that is encrusted with lace and crystals that I’m wearing and pinch the bridge of my nose, “This is all too much.”
Theo smirks and straightens out his black suit jacket, “Elijah may be a scary old vampire, but you got to give him some props,” He gestures to my dress, “The guys got great taste. And expensive too,” He points to the matching diamond bracelet on my left wrist, “After today you can pawn the necklace and bracelet, make bank, and then you and I hit Vegas.”
I turn and glare at my brother who smirks at me, “Not happening. We’re going to this stupid dance and then tomorrow morning I’m returning all of this crap and never talking to any of the Mikaelsons again.”
I watch Theo nod slowly and raise an eyebrow, “Rrrrrighttttt. Sure, okay. Um, how exactly do you plan on doing that? Also, I thought you and Rebekah were friends?”
I sit down on my bed and strap on the nude heels that were also in the huge white box that carried everything Elijah gave me.
“I’ll,” I stop and blow out a breath, “I’m going to….”
Theo snorts and nods, “Ya, you do that, nerd.”
With a huff, I stand up and take a step to grab my shawl but I let out a squeal when I trip over myself and bump into Theo.
Theo grabs my shoulders and pushes me upright and then dusts off his jacket, “Dude, walk much?”
I roll my eyes and throw my shawl over my shoulders, “I don’t wear heels!”
Theo purses his lips, “Cleary, hoe.”
I shoot him a glare, “Tell me why I’m letting you drag me to this again?”
Theo instantly smiles brightly at me and throws his arms over my shoulder pushing me down the hall, “Because you got personally invited by one of the hosts, and it would be rude to not go.”
I turn my head and shoot him a look and he smirks.
“Ok, maybe I don’t really care about him. But, come on! It’s a party and if we don’t go people will talk about how we were the only ones in town not invited!”
I shake my head as Theo opens the front door, “But we were invited?”
“Technically, you were invited. My invite must’ve gotten lost in transit,” He says confidently to himself, “And also people won’t know we were invited unless we go. And we need a night out. Too much shit has happened and we need fun.”
I go to argue but Theo shushes me.
“Nope. No complaining,” Theo then looks down at Stefan’s red car that is still sitting in our driveway, “Also, where the fuck did that come from?”
I cringe and close my eyes, “I kind of…stole it away from Stefan.”
I open my eyes and cringe as I look at my brother’s mad face.
“Are you serious?!”
I cringe at his yelling, “I’m sorry, okay? I was worked up and mad at the dick so I-”
“Bitch! I’m not mad at you for stealing the damn thing,” He gestures wildly at the car, “I’m mad that you stole a fucking car without ME!”
I blink and then shake my head, “I’m sorry. Next time I steal a motor vehicle, I’ll alert you first. Alright?”
Theo wipes a non-existent tear off his cheek and then nods, “Fine. But I get to drive there.”
I shake my head, “Hell to the no.”
“Oh, so you’re going to drive in those,” Theo asks and points to the heels I’m wearing and I frown.
“Fine. But, if you hit anything it’s on you.”
—
Theo hit 3 mailboxes. Ran a red light. The car no longer has a front fender.
“Well,” Theo opens my car door for me and I step out shaking, “That was…fun.”
My eye twitches as I look at my brother furiously and outstretch my shaking hand. Theo doesn’t say anything but nods his head in defeat, placing the car keys in my palm.
“Never again,” I growl.
“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad,” I whip around to the car that now has no fender, a broken headlight, multiple dents, and an uncountable amount of scrapes, “Okay, ya. Never mind that one is on me.”
I close my eyes, take a deep breath in and out, and feel Theo grab my arm.
“But at least we look good as fuck. Our parent’s gene pools do it again,” Theo says happily and then stops and cringes, “Sorry.”
I shake my head, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You know… the fact that we don’t have the same father so your gene pool isn’t his gene pool,” Theo explains and I have to take another deep breath.
“Sarcasm, Theodore. I was being sarcastic.”
“Ohhhhh,” Theo nods and guides me up a huge staircase to the massive mansion that is covered in lights and beautiful decorations.
We stop as we wait behind three rows of couples and I feel my hand start to shake.
“Hey, it’s all cool,” Theo smiles down at me and I wish for even a second I could believe him.
“Next!”
Theo and I walk up to the security guard and he holds out his hand, “Invite?”
I look over to Theo expectantly and he does the same to me, “Please don’t tell me you left it at home?”
Theo shakes his head, “Bitch, it was your invite?!”
“But you’re the one that wanted to come!”
“Listen,” The guard catches our attention, “If neither of you have an invite I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” He says and points to the parking lot.
“Sir, my sister was personally invited by the Elijah Mikaelson,” Theo states and the guard rolls his eyes.
“Ya, I’m sure she was,” He says sarcastically, “Now leave or I’ll have you escorted off the property.”
“That won’t be necessary,” A British voice says and I look up to see the light-brown-haired younger brother of Klaus and Elijah. Kol.
Theo shoots me a look, “Please tell me you didn’t bag, another one!”
I glare back at him, “Shut up!”
“They’re with me,” Kol tells the guard and reaches out an arm for me to take.
I stare at him cautiously for a moment before I hear people behind me start to express their annoyance.
With my free hand, I grab Kol’s right arm, while still holding on to Theo with my right arm.
Kol smirks down at me as he leads Theo and me into a huge ballroom, brightly lit with candles and twinkling lights, “My family can be quite dramatic with these things,” I look up at him and try to not notice how attractive yet another Mikaelson sibling is, “But, with our whole family back together again, our mother thinks it calls for a celebration.”
“How rich are you guys,” Theo asks bluntly and I jab my elbow into his stomach.
Kol smirks at him, “Very rich.”
I hear Theo mutter something about rich bitches under his breath and I try to not laugh.
“Thank you for helping us get in,” I say quietly to Kol and he shrugs.
“No worries. I thought I’d get to you first before the wolves descend,” He says nonchalantly but I can feel myself shake again at his words.
Kol must notice this because his eyebrows furrow, “Why are you doing that?”
I shake my head, “Doing what?”
Kol raises an eyebrow, “You’re shaking and your heartbeat is incredibly loud,” He says as if the noise annoys him.
“She has anxiety dickhead,” Theo bites at the vampire and I thrash my head over to my brother.
“Theo! Don’t be a dick!”
Theo shrugs and eyes Kol, “He’s the one making you feel bad for something you can’t control. How are you a thousand years old and not know what anxiety looks like?”
I cringe in pain when I feel Kol’s grip tighten on my arm.
“Theo,” I pinch my brother’s arm, “Please go get us some drinks, non-alcoholic.”
Theo glares back at me like I’m crazy and quickly shakes his head, “No, I’m not leaving you alone. Definitely not with him,” He points at Kol and I inhale a quick breath.
I turn to look at Kol, who is looking at Theo as if he wants to rip him in two.
“Theo,” I bite harshly, “Go. Now.”
Theo’s expression drops as he turns his attention back towards me. He must noticed the nervous look on my face because he lets out a sigh and nods his head.
“Ok,” He looks at Kol once more, “I’ll be right back.”
I watch with bated breath as Theo walks away and disappears into the crowd.
“Friend of yours?”
Kol’s tense voice makes me tense.
I turn and look at him and see the dark gleam in his eyes.
“My little brother,” I say equally as tense, “Try anything and I’ll steal one of those fancy daggers from your asshole brother and stab you myself.’’
Kol and I watch each other for a moment before he slits his eyes and hums, “If you were anyone else I’d rip your ribs out and stab you with them…but since I don’t want Nik or Elijah daggering me again and locking me away for another one hundred years,” He looks down at me and smirks, “You don’t have to worry about you coming to any harm from me.”
I stare at Kol with wide eyes and rip my arm out of his hold and he raises an eyebrow and smirks at my movement.
“I notice you didn’t mention my brother in that,” I turn to stand and glare at him, “I may not be able to stab you myself but trust me when I say this, for some reason, Klaus and Elijah don’t like it when I’m upset and people who make me upset,” I pause and think back to Klaus threatening Stefan, “and someone harming my brother would really make me upset.”
Kol stares back at me and after a moment he nods, “If you keep this attitude up, you’ll fit in just fine with my family.”
I furrow my eyebrows, “I want nothing to do with your family.”
Kol smirks as if what I just said was the funniest thing he just heard, “Oh Darling, you don’t have any choice in the matter anymore. Fate’s already picked you.”
I shake my head confused, “What the hell is everyone talking about?! What the hell does fate have to do with anything and what the hell is a fucking soulmate?”
Kol’s eyes widen slightly, “Women never swore as much as you do before I was daggered.”
I glare at him and he laughs, “My brothers say I’m not allowed to tell you anything,” He pauses and shrugs, “Actually they said I’m not allowed to even approach you.”
I look at him and groan in frustration.
“But when have I ever listened to what my brothers say,” I look up and find Kol smirking devilishly at me, “What do you want to know, Darling.”
I feel a weight lift off my shoulders at the idea of finally getting answers.
“What is a soulmate?”
Kol nods to a waiter passing by and grabs two glasses of champagne, he gestures for me to take one but I shake my head and he shrugs. Then he downs both of them.
“Let me give you the shortened version because I’m sure my brothers have already smelt you when you entered the house, so I’m sure they’ll be finding you soon,” Kol makes a show of looking around the room and then back to me, “Soulmates mean different things in different cultures…but, in your case soulmates mean someone who is bound to you forever. Someone who is a part of you, someone who is you.”
I shake my head not understanding what the hell he’s talking about.
“There’s not much understanding behind what this means in the supernatural world. There’s been much speculation, but what I do know is that when we were turned, our souls were ripped out. That human part of us was taken away…but it had to go somewhere.”
I shake my head and laugh in denial, “So what, you’re saying that I have Klaus’ and Elijah’s souls in me?”
Kol sighs and taps his chin in thought, “Ya. Pretty much.”
I let out a laugh at his joke.
“That’s really funny. It's good to know you didn’t lose your humor while in your coffin,” I smirk.
My smirk starts to slowly fall though as Kol doesn’t laugh with me.
No fucking way.
“You’re not joking are you?”
Kol’s smirk drops, “I honestly wish I was, Darling. I wouldn’t wish that fate on my worst enemy.”
“Elskan?”
Of course.
At the sound of Elijah’s voice, I let out a sigh and turned to see Elijah pushing through a few guests to walk over to Kol and me.
“Oh, fuck me,” I say under my breath and I hear Kol giggle.
“Don’t say that too loud, or my brother will take that as a request,” Kol gests and I stare wide-eyed at him which makes him laugh again.
“I wasn’t sure if you would come,” Elijah says as he comes to stand in front of Kol and me.
“I didn’t want to,” I say.
Kol laughs again and I see Elijah turn his attention to his younger brother, “Brother, it appears you’ve met the lovely Y/n Y/l/N.”
Kol throws a hand over my shoulder making me jump and cringe at the feeling of a stranger's touch, “Yes, we’re practically thick as thieves already.”
Elijah’s eyes darken and narrow as he looks at Kol’s hand that rests on my shoulder, “So it appears.”
I bite my lip as I wait for Elijah and Kol to be done with their glaring at one another. Or more like, Elijah glaring at Kol and the latter smirking.
“Well,” I say interrupting them, “You two have fun…I’m going to go…anywhere else,” I turn to Kol who turns to me, “I would say it was nice to meet you Kol, but you are kind of weird.”
“Right back at you, Darling,” Kol says and smirks at me.
I don’t spare either man another glance as I try to push through the crowd away from them.
“Y/n,” Elijah’s voice calls from behind me and I roll my eyes, “Please wait a moment.”
With a sigh, I stop and wait a moment for Elijah. It doesn’t take him but a moment to stand in front of me.
“What?”
Elijah’s dark look is long gone and replaced with a smile, “You look positively breathtaking.”
I look away from him and nod, “Thanks. I mean you’re the one who picked out the dress so.”
“The dress, although beautiful, has nothing to do with the radiance that is you,” Elijah says as his eyes scour my face.
I look at him and finally get to focus on just how attractive he looks right now. Y/n he always looks good. Shut up. He’s switched out his usual suit for a black tux that hugs his chest perfectly. His dark hair is styled expertly letting his beautiful face to be put on display.
“You don’t look horrible,” I shrug, “I guess.”
Elijah’s upper lip twitches and he nods, “Thank you, I think.”
Elijah and I stand staring at each other for a moment before he clears his throat.
“I’m glad you accepted my invitation to be my date,” Elijah smiles and uck in a breath.
“Sadly for you, my man,” I hear Theo’s voice come up from behind me, “She’s actually my date.”
I let out a sigh as I feel Theo wrap his arm around my arm and tug me towards him.
I watch Elijah’s eyes narrow for a moment before he gives Theo a strained smile, “And you are?”
Theo smirks and puffs out his chest, “Theo Y/L/N. Pleasure,” He eyes Elijah, “I’m sure.”
I see the wheels turning in Elijah’s head and his shoulders seem to untense.
“You’re Y/n’s younger brother. Am I correct?”
At Elijah’s question, Theo nods his head, “The one and only. And let me guess,” He puts his free hand on his hip, “You’re the man who showed up on my doorstep this morning begging my sister to not kick him to the curb. Am I correct?”
I stare wide-eyed at Theo in disbelief, and then back to Elijah.
The Original stares at my brother for a moment and I wait for the backlash.
“That would be me, Theodore,” Elijah smiles, and I raise an eyebrow, “But, I‘m not so sure what your sister has decided to do with me. At least not yet.”
Theo whips around to me, “Well? What are you going to do with him?”
My eyes widen and I switch my attention from Theo to Elijah, who also looks expectant on an answer.
“Um,” I look between the two men and freeze.
Thankfully, someone entering through the door pulls our attention.
Not someone. Caroline.
Caroline is wearing a light blue gown that makes her look just like Cinderella and beautiful as always.
“Um, I’m going to go see Caroline,” I turn away from the two men and quickly begin to walk towards my blonde friend. For a moment I think she sees me as her eyes focus on something, but when I follow her gaze behind me I see her staring at…Klaus.
Oh.
Klaus, who looks absolutely earth-shattering, turns his attention from Caroline towards me and I feel my heart drop. The enlightened look on his face, the look he had when looking at Caroline, drops when he sees me. The blank look on his face makes a burning start in the back of my eyes and I quickly divert them from him.
With Elijah behind me and Klaus to my right, I quickly book it to my left, through a doorway, and run down a hall.
I run until I meet a dark brown door and I throw it open and go inside. As soon as I close the door I lean my head against it, close my eyes, and take a deep breath.
“You’re not supposed to be in here,” A British voice says.
“Fucking Brits,” I groan out and turn around.
The other Mikaelson sibling, Finn I believe, stands before me. His once long hair is cut shorter and he’s wearing a suit that matches his brothers.
“You’re Finn,” I say and he narrows his eyes at me.
“Yes and you’re the soulmate,” He says annoyed.
I eye him and he eyes me.
What the hell is up with the Mikaelson siblings and glaring?
“Is this your room?”
Finn eyes me for another moment before nodding, “Yes.”
I nod and then wring my shaking hands together, “I’m sorry for barging in. I just… I couldn’t be out there. Around so many people.”
He doesn’t say anything and I nod, “I’ll leave. I’m sorry.”
I turn around and grab the handle.
“Wait,” Finn’s voice calls to me and I turn around, “You can stay. Just don’t touch anything.”
I look at Finn and then nod, “I won’t. Thank you.”
I slowly walk towards a couch and sit down careful not to rip my dress. I look up to Finn, who is standing in the corner of the room looking more awkward than I feel.
“Do you want to sit with me,” I ask gesturing to the other couch across from me.
Finn looks up at me suspiciously and then shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. Mother wants me out with the others,” Finn says and then walks towards the door.
“I’m sorry,” I say to him before he can open it.
I see him stop, “You already apologized.”
I shake my head, “Not about barging in…About what your siblings did to you.”
I see Finn’s shoulders instantly tense up and he turns around with a glare on his face, “You have no idea what my siblings did to me.”
I reposition uncomfortably and then shrug, “I know that they left you in a coffin for almost your entire life or at least that’s what I’ve heard. I’ve never been daggered by one of my family members but…I recently was betrayed by some of my family,” I open and then close my mouth thinking of what to say, “So I just…I guess I know what it’s like to feel betrayed.”
Finn’s eyes drop and he looks away from me. I take a deep breath and then turn back to look at my hands. I wait for Finn to either leave or kill me for speaking out of turn. What I didn’t expect though was for him to walk over to the other couch and place himself on it with a sigh.
We sit in silence for a moment before he sighs again, “I don’t blame you for not wanting to be out there,” He looks behind me towards the door, “It’s too loud.”
I nod and then realize just how much worse it probably is for him than me.
“This must be a lot for you,” I say and play with the diamond bracelet I’m wearing,
“Being away from civilization for so long, and now you have to get used to everything. I wouldn’t want to attend a party either.’’
Finn looks up at me and his face contorts into one of confusion, “You’re peculiar.”
I let out a low laugh, “Trust me, I know. Pretty much everyone does,” I say and take a sigh.
Finn eyes me oddly for a moment, “What do you mean?”
I shrug, “I’m not a very popular person. At all. For some reason, people don’t like to be around me much. Not even my family it seems.”
I feel my face warm up at the embarrassment I feel for spilling all that to a stranger.
“You’re not the only one that feels that way,” Finn says breaking me out of my embarrassment.
I look up to Finn and for a moment it’s like looking in a mirror. The sad look in his eyes is one I’ve seen one too many times when looking in my own mirror.
“You’re not what I was expecting,” Finn says as he leans back onto the couch.
I frown, “What do you mean?”
Finn eyes me, “You’re my brother’s soulmate. They’re both cruel and monstrous…yet you’re, peculiar.”
I shake my head, “What does that have to do with Elijah or Klaus?” Finn nods his head, “They said you don’t know anything about your soul bond,” He says to himself, “With souls being connected, the soulmates usually share personality qualities…yet you don’t seem monstrous like either one of my brothers.”
At his continuing insult to Klaus and Elijah, tension builds in my shoulders, “Then you haven’t seen me in the morning,” I joke but Finn doesn’t seem to get it. Or doesn’t find it funny, “Klaus and Elijah don’t seem that horrible. I mean ya they do bad things but, if anyone were alive for one thousand years then I’m sure they would also pile up their own bad deeds.”
Finn seems to be annoyed by my answer as he huffs and goes to stand up.
“Do you have a soulmate?”
Finn stops moving in his tracks and instantly looks at me, “Why are you asking?”
I shrug my shoulders, “I don’t know…Just wondering.”
Finn seems like he’s not going to say anything, but at least he sits back down.
“I think once I did,” Finn’s voice comes out so quietly I have to lean forward to hear him.
“Before you were daggered?” Finn doesn’t meet my eyes but he nods, “Sage. Her name was Sage.”
I frown at his saddened voice, “You loved her?”
I sad smile forms on Finn’s face, “I did,” He pauses, “I do.”
I feel my heart breaking for the man before me.
“Was she human?”
Finn frowns, “She was. Until she had me turn her so we could be together,” He pauses and takes a shaky breath, “I was daggered shortly after.”
“And what happened to her?”
Finn’s jaw tightens, “Well, it was over 900 years ago…I’m sure she’s…”
I nod, sadly, “Right.”
We sit in solemn silence for a moment before an idea comes to me, “How are you so sure,” Finn looks up at me confused, “That she’s dead.”
Finn shakes his head, “She has to be.”
I shake my head as well, “Finn, it was 900 years ago. She would be incredibly strong, one of the strongest vampires to date. I would be surprised if she wasn’t alive and if she truly loved you, I think she would’ve waited for you.”
Finn looks at me and I can see the wheels turning in his head but he still shakes his head, “It’s not possible.”
I laugh, “Dude, werewolves, vampires, and witches exist. Nothing is short of impossible here.”
Finn stops shaking his head, “Even if she was…there’s no way I could find her.”
I stay quiet for a moment until an idea comes to my mind, “I have a friend. She’s a witch, a really good witch. Maybe…I could ask her and we could find her. All three of us.”
Finn stares at me for a long moment.
“Why would you do that? Why would you do that, for me?”
I give Finn a soft smile, “I’m kind of peculiar.”
Finn’s solemn face changes for the first time since I’ve seen him. His sorrowful eyes look almost…hopeful now.
“I’d appreciate that. Greatly.”
Finn and I smile at one another until the door opening makes me jump.
“Finn,” A feminine voice says and I turn and see a blond older woman.
“Mother,” Finn instantly jumps up.
“Mother?!”
I jump up shocked and stare at the older woman who eyes me, kind of nastily.
“What is going on here,” She asks Finn suspiciously and he pauses.
“Um, Mrs. Mikaelson,” I say and she goes back to eyeing me, “Hey, Y/n,” I point to myself, “Finn and I were just discussing new-age technology. I heard he’s new to this era so I thought me and I could chat about it.”
I turn to Finn, “This was a good chat. Let’s meet…tomorrow. We can discuss how to send text messages.”
Finn eyes me oddly like he doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about, but he still nods.
“Great! Well,” I turn back to his mother, “Pleasure to meet you…I guess. I’ll be leaving now. Bye, Finn!”
I quickly speed-walk past both of them and exit the room. I close the door and take a deep breath.
“Y/n?”
“Oh come on!”
I turn around to see Rebekah walking towards me. Just like all other Mikeaslons, she looks absolutely gorgeous. The green dress she’s wearing matches perfectly with her blonde long hair.
“Are you alright?”
I nod and start to walk by her back to the party, “Peachy. Just happened to run into your mother. Tense lady.”
Rebekah walks up next to me and smiles, “Yes, my mother is an acquired taste. Don’t let her get to you though, you’re a part of this family.”
I shake my head viscously, “No I am not.”
“Yes you are,” She says as we enter the ballroom. An incredibly crowded ballroom.
“Literally, am not.”
“Sure, whatever you say,” Rebekah laughs.
We both watch the crowd of people dance, laugh, and talk.
“My brother has been looking for you,” She says and I groan.
“Ya? Which one?”
Rebekah smirks, “Elijah, and Nik.”
“Well, I don’t want to see either one.”
From the corner of my eye, I see Rebekah smirk, “Unluckily for you, I don’t think you have a choice,” At her tone, I look over to her and she nods her head to her left.
I follow her eyeline and let out another groan at the sight of Elijah making his way over to us.
“God it’s like he has a tracker on me,” I say sarcastically.
“Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past either of them,” Rebekah replies.
We both watch as Elijah approaches us with a content smile, “Good evening, ladies,” Elijah says with his perfect accent, “Rebekah, mother wants us on the staircase,” Elijah turns his attention towards his younger sister and she rolls her eyes.
“Fine,” Rebekah says sarcastically then turns to me, “It was lovely to talk to you, Y/n. We’ll chat soon.”
I nod silently and watch as she walks towards the staircase.
“I’ve been looking for you,” Elijah’s voice makes me close my eyes.
“Doesn’t mommy want you on that staircase?”
Elijah’s jaw tenses and he rolls his shoulders, “Behave, Elskan.”
I purse my lips, “Don’t tell me what to do, Suit and Tie.”
Elijah’s tense expression lightens, “Suit and Tie?”
I shrug, “You have a nickname for me. I think it’s only fair I have one for you, as well.”
“Suit and tie,” Elijah says to himself as if he’s seeing how it sounds, “Hmm. It’ll need work, but it’s fine for now.”
I fight back a smirk at his words, “Fine. I’ll workshop it.”
Elijah and I stand there for a moment and I feel his gaze on me the entire time.
“What did you and my younger brother talk about,” Elijah asks with a hint of skepticism in his voice.
“Oh, nothing,” I look at my nails as if I’m bored, “Just the fact that I supposedly have your and Klaus’ human souls in me.”
I smirk as I watch Elijah instantly tense up, “My brother was told not to talk to you about that.”
“Well, no one else wanted to keep their word and talk with me about it. So, I’m glad he did,” I cringe, “Actually…I’m not sure. I still have no idea what the hell is going on.”
Elijah nods, “Once again…I apologize that I was unable to make it last night. You should’ve heard that from me and not from…Kol,” He says the name and I can clearly tell how pissed off he is at his younger brother right now.
“But I did,” I harshly say, “And I still don’t have any clue what to make of it. It doesn’t make any sense.”
Elijah sighs, “I know, Y/n. And I promise you, that I will tell you everything you want to know,” His eyes travel behind me and he sighs, “Right after I deal with my family.”
I nod, “Elijah, your promises don’t mean anything until you start living up to them.”
Elijah sends me a saddened smile and nods, “And I look forward to doing that.”
I nod and with a final smile, Elijah walks up a grand staircase to meet his siblings.
“Uh, if everyone could gather, please,” Elijah addresses the crowd of people standing below him and his family.
As I gaze at each Mikaelson sibling I can’t help but hate them all for how hot they all are. Like seriously, the most supernatural thing in this town is this family's good looks.
Elijah stands before his family, confident and strong; Below him, walking up the stairs, Finn stands with a scowl on his face. Even with the scowl, no one could deny how attractive the eldest brother is; Rebekah who stands behind Finn is a bright light compared to her brother’s darker exteriors; Kol who stands at the top step chugging his bottle of champagne looks so boyishly handsome it could make even the most confident girl blush; and last Klaus. The bitch-ass hybrid stands in the middle of all his siblings as if nonverbally telling all of us looking up at them that he’s the one that deserves their utmost attention and respect.
As if he could read my thoughts, the bastard’s eyes trail to me. The calculative look on his face doesn’t change as he stares down at me and I don’t care enough to hide the glare I know I have on my face.
“Welcome,” Elijah’s voice calls my attention once again and I trail my eyes away from Klaus to his older brother, “Thank you for joining us. You know, whenever my mother,” Elijah gestures to the older blonde woman making her way down the steps and I hate to say it but she’s also pretty hot. A shitty fucking person, but pretty hot, “brings our family together like this, it’s a tradition for us to commence the evening with a dance. Tonight’s pick is a centuries-old waltz so if all of you could please find yourselves a partner,” Elijah’s eyes land right on me as he talks, “Please join us in the ballroom.”
I debate on running away before anyone can ask me to dance but as I watch Elijah practically hop down the steps, dodge women trying to ask for his hand, all while having his eyes stuck on me I can’t help but only try to fight back the grin on my face.
“Elskan,” Elijah gives me a smile that makes me want to curl up into a ball and scream, “I would be ever so delighted if you would join me for this dance.”
I look at Elijah’s outstretched hand and cringe, “I can’t dance. Let alone, Waltz.”
Elijah smiles blissfully, “Then let me show you.”
I bite my lip thoughtfully as I stare at him for a moment before relenting, “Fine,” I point at him, “But if I step on your fancy designer shoes I don’t want any complaining.”
Elijah’s smile doesn’t change as he chuckles, “I’d happily have all of my shoes ruined by you if it meant I’d never have to have a different dance partner again.”
I roll my eyes, trying to hide the fact that his words are making me lowkey freak the fuck out. So all I do is place my hand in his and let him lead me to the dance floor where other couples are lined up.
“I’m going to fall and make a fool out of myself” I whisper to myself as “Give Me Love” By Ed Sheeran starts playing.
“I’d never let you fall,” Elijah leans down and whispers in my ear and I gaze up to him.
“You’re pretty slick with your words. Y’know that right,” I joke and he shrugs.
“I’ve been told this once or twice,” He squeezes my hand and I’m glad the music is so loud because if it wasn’t I’d be sure every vampire in this room could hear how loud my heart was pounding.
Elijah guides me forward as the music starts and I try to copy the woman in front of me as she glides forwards. We turn forward, directly in front of Theo who is dancing with Mayor Lockwood and I let out a small snort. The glare on my little brother’s face shows that he doesn’t seem to find it as funny as me.
“Wait,” I look over to Elijah only to find it already looking at me, “You said whenever your mother brings your family together you have a dance… that crazy lady has been dead for 1,000 years.”
Elijah smirks at my observation, “A little white lie never hurt anyone.”
I roll my eyes, “Says the man who can’t die.”
Elijah squeezes my hand and without warning he twirls me. Being caught off guard I trip forward but thankfully Elijah pulls me back into him and I grab onto his chest.
“See, I told you I wouldn’t let you fall,” Elijah, who stands a breath away from me, smiles.
“I hate dancing,” I say exhausted.
Elijah looks over to the other couples for a moment and I do the same.
Elena and Damon are three couples away, engaged in whatever drama is paining them today. Rebekah and Matt are next to them, and I can’t help but admit how pretty they would be as a couple. My eyes continued trailing over other couples randomly; I stop when my eyes catch the light blue of Caroline’s dress.
Caroline stands holding onto Klaus as they twirl around. They appear to be in the middle of a conversation and for some reason, all I want right now is to know what the hell they could possibly be talking about. I’d also like to know why the hell he invited her. I didn’t understand him. The man who one day grips my thigh like it’s his life source and the next won’t even spare me a glance.
I feel Elijah squeeze my hand and I instantly feel horrible for thinking about another man while in his arms.
“What’s plaguing your thoughts, my love?”
The nickname has me choking on my saliva, only making Elijah smirk.
“You’ve really got to pick one nickname and keep with it,” I say trying to act more annoyed than flustered.
“I’ve waited for you for too long to have my feelings confined to just one word.”
All reservations I had are now off the table as I stare wide-eyed at the man in front of me.
“Elijah…I,” I start but then a tightness in his lower jaw stops me.
“I’m sorry, Elskan. We have to change partners now. But, I promise we will continue this discussion,” Elijah says and with a pained look, he twirls me.
I’m twirling until a strong hand on my lower back stops me, “Hello again, Darling.”
I raise an eyebrow at the youngest Mikaelson brother, “Hello, Kol.”
Kol seems to be delighted with my lack of enthusiasm as he swings me in his arms. Where Elijah kept a tight hold on me, Kol seems to have more enjoyment in flinging me around the dance floor.
“So I’ve been thinking,” Kol says thoughtfully and I roll my eyes.
“Here we go.”
Kol rolls his own eyes at my comment but still continues, “So you need protecting, and I don’t want to end up with another dagger in my chest. So…we should team up.”
I frown at his words, “Who do I need protecting from? And why do you think I could stop you from getting daggered?”
Kol looks at me like I’m stupid, “Darling, please tell me you’re smarter than this.”
At my silence, Kol closes his eyes and sighs, “Bloody hell.”
Kol shakes his head, “Alright, you’re important to my brothers. This means their enemies are going to be coming after you; hence why you need protection. And to answer your other question…I’m willing to bet another one hundred years of my life daggered that if you were to bat those pretty y/e/c eyes at either one of my brothers they would move mountains to make you happy. So…”
At Kol’s expectant look, I nod in understanding, “If I tell them I don’t want you daggered…”
Kol nods happily, “Then I’ll stay handsome and perfectly unharmed.”
I consider about Kol’s words.
“You may have Elijah and Klaus’ protection,” Kol’s eyes go behind me to where Theo is dancing with Rebekah, “But your little brother doesn’t.”
I look at Theo who is currently talking a mile a minute with a smiling Rebekah.
“Fine. You have a deal. You protect me, and more importantly, Theo, and I’ll back up. I don’t think Elijah or especially Klaus care enough to listen to me but I’ll try.”
Kol smirks devilishly but then frowns, “You’re joking right,” He must notice my confusion because he continues, “Bloody hell, you really don’t see how they look at you?”
I shake my head and Kol nudges his head to his left and I catch Elijah watching us with an intense look. I quickly look back to Kol and he raises an eyebrow.
“See?”
I shake my head, “Okay…maybe Elijah and I are friends…but Klaus doesn’t give a damn about me.”
Kol’s mouth drops open and I loud laugh escapes his throat, “Bloody hell, luv. You really are oblivious,” Kol shakes his head, “Let me just say this…I’ve never seen my bastard of a brother look at anyone the way he looks at you. It may not register in that thick skull of yours but it’s true. This whole world could be burning down and my brother would not let a single flame come near you,” Kol shrugs, “He probably was the one who started the fire but what I say still stands.”
I stare at the youngest brother with my mouth hung open and he laughs, “I’ve enjoyed trying to knock some sense into, Little Doll. We shall talk more about our deal later on… Good luck,” He smirks evilly, and without a moment for me to say anything back he thrusts me into another pair of strong arms.
A strong masculine smell of something woodsy enters my nose and I breathe it in with a sigh.
“I didn’t know if you were going to show,” That British voice that I know so well enters my ears and I let out a growl.
“Of course, it’s you,” I open my eyes to find myself in Klaus’ arms.
Klaus gazes down at me and I shoot a glare at Kol who isn’t looking at me but has a smirk on his face, “That fucker.”
“Many people have the same reaction when it comes to my little brother,” Klaus says with a smirk and I just glare at him.
I turn away from him, look to my side, and watch the other couples dance around us.
“Don’t ignore me,” Klaus’ rough voice calls to me and I turn to glare at him.
“I don’t care enough about you to even care about ignoring you. Let’s just get this stupid dance over with,” I bite and he glares back at me.
“Fine with me,” He growls back.
“Good.”
“Good.”
We both huff and continue glaring at each other until his eyes fall down to my chest.
“Where is it?”
I glance down at my chest and shake my head at him annoyed, “Where the hell is what?”
“Your necklace,” He insists, “Where is it?”
I look down at my diamond necklace and then back up to him, “Are you blind? I’m wearing it.”
Klaus growls under his breath, “Not that one. The wolf one.”
I lean back in surprise momentarily, “Why do you care?”
“Because I want you to wear it,” He says as if it was obvious.
“Why the fuck would you want me to…” I stop talking when the answer hits me like a truck.
“It was…” I release my hands from his quickly and grasp my neck, “It was from you wasn’t it?”
Klaus tries taking a step towards me but with every step he takes I take one back.
“Don’t come near me,” I shake my head and feel my breathing picking up.
I quickly run through the couples dancing, not caring about messing up this stupid dance as I run through the doors and out into a low-lit garden.
I run a hand through my hair taking out the little pins I had holding my hairstyles together and let my hair flow freely. I kick off my stupid heels and throw myself onto the grass, the cold ground calming my hot skin.
I close my eyes letting out a deep breath and lay down, resting my head on the ground. I look above me to the bright moon overhead and the stairs that surround it. A wave of sadness washes through me as I look at it. I’d always related to the moon. Always felt like she and I were the same. Alone, even though they were surrounded by so many others. The brightly lit stars had each other, thousands of them to hold on to one another, but there was only one moon. Where the stars had their own light and color, the moon only shone because it had the sun shining on it.
I close my eyes and let a small tear fall down my face. As I’m laying there I feel a warmth come next to me and place itself on the ground beside me. I don’t have to open my eyes to recognize who the owner of the woodsy scent is.
“When I was a boy,” Klaus’ low voice fills my ears, “My father would beat me for never being the way he wanted. I could never hold a sword the right way, couldn’t hunt enough animals, I wasn’t man enough in his eyes. Even though I was surrounded by siblings, I never truly felt like one of them,” Klaus stops for a moment and I open my eyes to look at him. To my slight surprise, he was lying right beside me on the grass, his left arm lifted under his head and his eyes staring straight up at the sky, “The only time I felt like I belonged was when it was just myself and the moon. I’d spent most of my boyhood cowering, but…whenever I gazed up at the moon, I felt as though I was something greater. Better. It’s been over a thousand years and I still gaze up at her, remembering how that scared little boy held onto it like a lifeline.”
Klaus stops talking and we lay there together, staring up at the moon.
“I’ve been alone a long time,” I say softly and I can see him turn his head out of the corner of my eye, “When I was little, maybe 8 or 9 I’d cry to my mother asking her why none of the other kids wanted to be around me. She’d just tell me it was because I was too mature for them. I never really believed her though. When I was 10, my father started drinking,” I let out a sigh as the words came out of my mouth, “He’d get angry when he drank. He’d swear at me and my mother and do other stuff. He’d tell me that I deserved to be alone. That people like me…there’s something wrong with people like me. That went on for a few years before my father finally decided that starting a whole new family sounded like a better idea than being with his first one. He may have left but his words didn’t. My mother at first told me that what he was saying wasn’t true. That “hurt people, hurt people.” But as I got older and saw that everyone around me seemed to find their places with each other, and I couldn’t ever seem to fit in, I started to realize that maybe my…father… was right. It wasn’t up until about a year or so ago that I began to be one with the loneliness. Or at least I like to tell myself that. When Elena came around I saw it almost as a threat to myself. To what I was used to. Why, after 17 years did someone finally decide to see me? Having friends now makes me feel like a hungry dog. I got a taste of what it felt like to be fed, but it doesn’t seem to be good enough for me. That’s why it’s better for me to ruin anything that can have a hold on me…Even if it can take away that hunger.”
Klaus is silent for a moment and so am I.
“After I turned…the moon wasn’t the only thing that kept away the loneliness,” Klaus says and I turn my head to gaze at him and he turns him to gaze at me, “You were.”
I furrow my eyebrows, “What are you talking about?”
Klaus reaches a hand up and runs a finger along my face as if he’s memorizing every aspect of it.
“At first it was just glimpses. Colors. Almost like a memory that didn’t belong to me. But every night as I’d dream the images would get clearer. Until one night I was staring into the most exquisite y/e/c I’d ever seen. I didn’t know who they belonged to yet. But for the first time in my life, I felt seen. I’m a monster who has done monstrous things, but yet these eyes looked at me like none of that mattered. Like I had finally been accepted, monstrous bits and all. So every morning when I awoke I’d draw them. And every night I’d dream of them. It wasn’t for another 300 years that I would learn that the eyes belonged to the human part of my soul. And when I found that out, I was angry. Furious even. I hated the thought that the only way someone would ever look at me like I was deserving of being understood was if they were a direct result of me.”
Klaus stops and I can practically hear my heartbeat thumping.
“So I burnt the pictures. Hid anything that reminded me of those eyes and hoped to never come across them for the rest of my eternity. And for 1,108 years I had accomplished that…until one Friday afternoon, in a tiny high school where I locked eyes with that y/e/c. And everything I’d work for became nothing. It was like I was seeing everything for the first time. I was once again that little boy running from himself begging for someone to save him. Because I knew the longer I looked into those y/e/c eyes, the sooner I was doomed.”
Klaus grabs my chin and makes me look into his eyes, “You, Y/n Y/l/n have doomed for me for an eternity,” His eyes search mine, “And no matter how much I try to fight it, fight you, I can’t help but spend every waking moment hoping for you. Hoping for my promised destruction.”
I stare wordlessly at the man in front of me. I keep opening my mouth and closing it but I can’t seem to find the right words.
“I think I’m going to have a panic attack,” I sit upright quickly and clench my chest. I hear Klaus sit up next to me and clutch my shoulders.
“Y/n, just breathe,” He soothes and I think I am having a stroke because what the actual fuck is happening right now.
“I’m so confused.”
Klaus brushes my hair away from my face, “I know this must be hard for you. I didn’t plan on telling you like this…I actually didn’t plan on telling you at all. But when I saw that anger on your face,” he pauses, “Anger that was directed at me, for the first time in my life I felt sick. So I needed to tell you, that even if you may hate me…I could never hate you. And for as long as I live, you will never be alone again.”
I feel tears brim my eyes as I look over and up to him and shake my head, “If you feel this way then why did you invite Caroline? Clearly, you don’t feel the way you say,” I try to deny.
Klaus’s expression darkens, and he once again grabs my chin. “Do not for a moment try to tell me how I feel about you. The only reason I invited your blonde friend was because Elijah had already claimed you as his date. You can also ask your blonde friend, but the entire night all I did was ask her questions about you. I heard she can’t keep a secret for her life and so I picked her brain about you. If my older brother hadn’t gotten to you first…you would’ve been with me tonight.”
I try to process what he just said and I feel a panic attack come on, “I…I…but…I,” I continue shaking my head as I stand up and Klaus follows, “You and Elijah are just playing some sick joke on me right? As a way to get back at Elena? Mess with the mentally ill non-verbal best friend. Get her to hate herself for getting all flustered over two brothers! Fucking brothers!”
“I can assure you, Elskan. That is not the case,” I whip around to see Elijah walking down the steps into the garden.
I rub a hand over my face and start walking around in a circle as the two brothers stand next to one another, watching.
“I mean, come on! You guys have to see how crazy this is right? I mean what kind of whore gets feelings for brothers!”
Klaus and Elijah’s faces darkened and I hear Klaus release a low growl.
“Dont. Ever. Call yourself a whore,” Elijah takes a step forward and continues speaking with a deadly tone, “My brother has said his peace to you, and in due time I will as well. But don’t for a moment think that you should hate yourself for something that fate has put in front of you.”
I continue to stand there like a fish out of water, not knowing what the hell to say next. Thankfully, my saving grace comes in the form of a loud crashing sound coming from upstairs, capturing our attention.
“Shouldn’t we go check that out,” I point up with a shaking hand.
“Don’t for a second think that we won’t be discussing this further,” Elijah informs me and I have to fight back the weird feeling in my chest at his commanding tone.
I nod and Elijah comes towards me and reaches out a hand for me to take. Klaus steps forward and does the same. I stare at both of their hands and swallow my doubts as I place a hand in each and let them guide me upstairs towards the front door where my friends and their siblings are standing.
I quickly drop my hands from theirs as Elena turns towards me. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem she saw anything as she sends me a small smile.
Damon stands above Kol’s dead body with an enraged look.
“Fucking idiot,” I mutter.
“You’ve got that right,” My little brother says as he comes to stand next to me.
Damon looks over all of us before landing his eyes on me, “Pukey, we’re leaving,” Damon’s tone is harsh but something in his eyes makes my heart tug.
“She is not going anywhere with you,” Elijah says with a dark voice that has everyone looking at him.
I shake my head, “It’s ok,” I turn to Theo and hand him my *Stefan’s* car keys, “I’ll see you at home, okay?”
Theo looks at me like I’ve got two heads but still nods.
I look over to where Klaus and Elijah are practically seething and sigh.
“Let’s go, Freak,” I run over to Damon and grab his arm leading him away from everyone and out into the parking lot.
As soon as we’re out of sight from everyone I see Damon’s shoulders instantly drop and I turn to glare at him.
“You’ve seriously got the worst survival instinct, of anyone I’ve ever met,” I say with a hand on his hip.
“I’m never going to be the one,” Damon lets out with a shaky sigh and I instantly drop my disappointed mother act.
“What happened?”
I take a step closer to him and he shakes his head.
“Elena.”
I take a deep sigh and nod, “Of course.”
Damon lifts his head to look at me, “You look like how I feel,” He says trying to be sarcastic but I can hear the pain in his voice.
“I’ve had a rough night too, my friend. Movie night at yours,” I question as I wrap my arm around his, and his upper lip twitches.
“You called me your friend.”
I roll my eyes and let him lead me to his car, “Shut up.”
#klaus mikaleson imagine#damon salvatore#klaus mikaelson#thecwshows#elijah mikaelson#the originals#athenamikaelson#author#klaus x reader#the vampire diares imagine#klaus mikealson x reader#tvd klaus#elijah mikaelson x reader#elijah mikaelson imagine#stefan x elena#elena gilbert#davina claire#damon salvatore imagine#writers of tumblr#thevampirediaries#the vampire diaries#kol mikaelson imagine#kol mikaelson x reader#kol mikaelson icons#rebekah mikaelson#x reader#reader#caroline forbes#bonnie bennett
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Model | M.S
Pairing: Matt Sturniolo x Fem Reader
WC: 2.2k+
Warnings/Notes: Mild language, smutty scene, pregnancy, fluff, etc.
Summary: Unexpectedly, you hit it off with Matt at your new modeling gig for the Space Camp Lip Balm shoot.
"Alls Nick needs you to do is allow us to get some shots of you applying his lip balms. Try to look relaxed. For a few photos, make direct eye contact with the camera. Get into the vibe and just really try and feel yourself." Lora, your manager, says.
"I can do that." You murmur.
You were dragged off to the bathroom of the little set they've set up as some tropical themed location. You were given a black two piece swimsuit and they styled your hair while doing light makeup.
"What do you think?" The stylist asks her boss, Nick who stood with his brothers.
Nick looks at you and studies you as he realizes how professional you were compared to the other models that came in. The other models were all fan girls of him and his brothers, and to say the least...it was exhausting. Yet, your face was blank, and your eyes guarding any thoughts or worries you may be having.
"I like the black...but I almost think we need a color to make it pop...it needs to be yellow. Do we have a yellow cardigan thing?" Nick asks.
"Um...no." The stylist says slowly.
"Would my yellow button up work?" Matt asks.
"Try that. Go help her get that on and make sure her hair isn't tucked into the shirt." Nick says.
Matt motions you to follow him and you do. You admired his messy hair and his glasses in silence as he opened the door to the bathroom. He starts to unbutton the pastel yellow button up he wore to reveal a white tank top underneath it. He shrugs it off and your eyes follow his tattoos. His eyes follow yours and he smiles slyly.
"Like em'?" He asks as he helps you put your arms into the button up.
"Mhm. They look really cool. Does each one have a different meaning to you?" You ask softly.
He was thrown off by your velvety voice, but he somehow managed to keep his cool as he helps even out the button up and adjust your hair.
"Yeah...have you ever considered getting tattoos?" He asks.
"I want a lot, but it could affect my modeling career. My manager would kill me before I stepped foot into a tattoo shop." You say, a sad little laugh at the end.
"I'm Matt...Matt Sturniolo." He murmurs, his nerves getting the best of him as he prepared for a fan girl moment.
"It's nice to meet you, Matt. I'm Y/n, but call me Y/n/n. I prefer it." You admit.
You didn't seemed fazed by his name and it was relieving to him. He looks you over slowly and Nick was right about it having to be yellow. He found himself liking the way you looked in his button up shirt. It went to about mid-thigh on you and it overall made you look even cuter to him.
"Well hold on there, Y/n/n...this collar is fucked up." He murmurs as he steps closer to you.
His hands brush down your neck, goosebumps following in their trail as you look up at him through your eyelashes unintentionally. He adjust the collar slowly before his eyes find yours.
"Has anyone told you how pretty you are?" He murmurs.
"I-I...thank you, Matt." You murmur, your cheeks flushing red.
He smirks slyly as he steps back. He has you do a slow turn so that he can make sure it's perfect and that Nick won't rip him a new hole.
"Alright, you look perfect. Almost think a white swimming suit would look good with a pink button up. I got one of those out in the car too." He murmurs.
"Thank fuck. It looks perfect." Nick says.
"What if you have her do a couple photos in a white swim suit with that pink button up I got in the car?" Matt suggests.
"Go grab it. So far we are doing good on time. The other model walked out. She was mad that I asked her to do more shots because she was too busy flirting with Chris." Nick sighs.
While Matt leaves, you were instructed on different poses by Nick. You stand by Nick as you both look over the shots.
"They all look great!" Nick exclaims excitedly.
It was the one shoot that went right. He admired your dedication to your work and the professionalism you had. There was a time and place for fooling around and another for being professional. You, thankfully knew the difference and for that, he was thankful.
"Alright, are you cool with us doing another shoot in a different outfit?" He asks.
"Yeah, of course." You say softly.
"The stylist stepped out for lunch." Laura, Nicks manager says.
"I can get changed and touch up my makeup and hair. It's not a big deal." You say, noticing the stress on Nick's face.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Mhm. And you can be honest when I come out and you're not a fan of the makeup or something. I can fix it." You say, trying to lighten the mood by smiling.
"You truly are the saving grace of today. Thank you." Nick says, a wave of relief washing over him.
You walk back to the room and grab your bag, even though typically the outfits are supplied. You had come prepared with options. You grab the white bikini set and put it on. You were trying to clasp the back, but you might've underestimated how small it was. The door opens and you look in the mirror to see Matt.
"Shit, I'm sorry. Nick said you were getting ready, but I assumed you were done changing." Matt says.
"Your okay! Actually, can you help me? I can't get this clasped..." You admit quietly, your cheeks flushing red as you catch him slyly smirk.
He closed the door and sets the button up over a chair. You move your hands to the front of the top to hold it in place as he clasps it.
"Hey, y/n/n?" He murmurs as he watches you adjust your top and bottoms.
"Hm?" You hum softly.
"Could I get your number?" He asks.
"Sure." You say softly with a smile.
He smiles and grabs the pink button up and helps you put it on. You sit and do some touch ups to your makeup before going into the light and neutral shades of eyeshadow and going in with pinks.
You talked with Matt, giving him your number. He made you laugh and smile way more than you had in a long time.
You walk out, the two of you talking about a movie you both had watched recently.
"I love the eyeshadow! It all looks perfect. The eyeshadow look and colors was a good choice." Nick compliments.
Soon you were doing different poses for different shots. You began to feel more yourself as you got further along. It wasn’t long before Nick, his brothers, and you were around the screen and looking at the shots.
The park was becoming more empty, but you continued to enjoy every moment with Matt. You were excited when he texted you and asked to hang out.
"Look, there's a Photo Booth!" Matt says, dragging you towards it.
It was small and had enough for one person to sit at most. Matt sits and pulls you down on his knee. He pays and you both start with a smile, then silly faces, but before you both could do the next pose, he was gently guiding you to look at him.
He leans forward, kissing you softly. You respond softly—almost unsure of what to do. You move your hands to his hair, gently tugging at it as you hold him closer.
You throw your leg over him, straddling him as you sit on top of the growing bulge. He pulls away, kissing down your jaw before kissing down your neck. He reaches out and puts another dollar into the machine.
He nips at your neck and you gasp. He unbuttons your shirt before standing and pinning you against the back of the photo booth wall.
"Y/n/n, we are going to do a little bit of a risky game." He breathes.
"W-What is it?" You whisper.
"When I tell you to put a dollar in, put one in and let it take photos of us. We don't know who's going to walk past this photo booth, but we are going to continue. Okay?" He asks.
"Y-Yeah." She breathes.
He hands her a wad of dollars he had gotten before their outing today. He gets on his knees and puts her legs over his shoulders.
"No panties? Dirty girl." He murmurs as he lifts your skirt.
Your cheeks flush red before you gasp as his mouth attacks your clit. You had done things before and you've been eaten out, poorly, which made you uncomfortable at ever trying it again. But, Matt knew exactly what he was doing.
"M-Matt!" You moan, arching your back as your hips move to their own accord.
You whine in frustration as his mouth leaves your clit. He looks up at you, his chin glistening with your juices.
"Put a dollar in, baby." He murmurs.
You lean down a bit and put the dollar in before leaning back against the wall. He grins before he goes back to eating you out. You throw your head back as you bury your hand in his hair, pushing him closer to you. He buries two fingers in you, thrusting them out slowly. You whimper as you grind against his face before coming. You pant as you slump against the wall.
"Fuck baby, you taste like heaven." He murmurs.
He helps you adjust you clothes before picking up all the pictures on the ground. He smiles as he starts to look through them. Your cheeks flush red at them, but you do think it added to the fun.
"Come on. Let's go to Walmart before they close." He murmurs.
"Walmart? Why?" You ask, following behind him.
"We are getting a Polaroid camera because that was fucking fun. Maybe a lock box because no one but you and I will get to see these pictures. You truly are meant to be a model, baby." He murmurs, taking your hand in his.
"Just one more!" Nick sighs.
The model continues to storm away, throwing down a book. Chris bites his lip before looking at his brother.
"I can go...so that they focus, y'know." He mumbles.
"No, no, you're fine." Nick sighs.
"Hey guys!" Matt says, walking hand in hand with you.
"Y/n/n! Thank god you're here!" Nick exclaims.
"What's wrong?" You ask, rubbing your swollen five month belly with your hand.
To say the least, Matt got a bit carried away with the thought of you having his baby. You didn't regret it though.
"Could we do some shots of you?" He asks.
"Um...Nick...I'm five months pregnant." You say confused.
"I do shots of you all the time. I think you look like a fucking goddess pregnant." Matt says with a sly grin.
Both his brothers ew and cover their ears as you smack Matt who was laughing.
"Not appropriate Matthew!" You scold.
"Come on, baby. Do a couple shots for him. What's five months of being pregnant gotta do with some shots?" He murmurs.
"Matt...typically for shots like this, you don't want a pregnant woman. The most shoots I've been able to get my hands on is maternity shoots. You typically want someone...skinner and prettier." You explain.
"Okay, let's start with the fact that you are fucking gorgeous and you are creating a human in there. We need to break the fucking stigma of wanting skinny and blonde models. Go get your ass to that dressing room and find something autumn like and get out here for some shots!" Nick rants.
You look at him, awed with his speech as your eyes tear up. He pales, raising his hands as if to surrender.
"Y/n/n, what's wrong?" He asks.
You let a sob out as Matt goes to grab you, but you pull Nick into a hug.
"That's just the most wonderful thing I've ever heard. You truly are the sweetest and most feminist man I know." You say.
"Aww, Y/n/n, you're okay." He murmurs.
"I know. I know. I'm sorry. The hormones, y'know. Believe it or not, this isn't the first time I've cried today." You say, pulling back to wipe your tears.
"What? You? There's no way." Nick says, although he knew you had probably cried like ten times today as Matt looks off and nods slowly as he remembers this morning.
"Oh yeah. I'm a whole train wreck...gosh, how does Matt even deal with me." You mumble as your eyes well up again.
"Hey, no tears. Matt loves you and you love Matt. And the both of you love this baby. It's okay to be a train wreck. But, you both will look back and laugh at these silly moments you've been having." Nick says softly.
You laugh and nod before Matt was gently guiding you to the dressing room.
#masterlist#angst#spicy reads#smut#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo fic#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo oneshot#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#the sturniolo triplets#mrsriddles-blog#mrsriddles-blogunhinged#mrsriddles-blogisblogging
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Called my aunt to wish her a happy birthday and we spent an hour discussing what I was doing with my life 😭
#my uncle wants me to go get a PhD in quant or finance or information systems and then become a professor#OR#be a lawyer or a dentist#the PhD thing was very specifically catered when I was like 👉🏽👈🏽 I wanna teach#none of those things sound all that appealing..#space law Has Potential#but I think it would make me want to rip my hair out#they were both like. you have two years but then figure your life out by then#and then they were like. what is ur cousin doing. has he proposed yet#and I was like ??? it hasn’t even bee n a year?? I think they’re going to Japan#and oopsies apparently he had not told them they were going to Japan#my bad#after I. very reasonably said it makes sense to wait 2-3 years#he went ‘what is there going to be left to talk about then. life is all downhill from there. might as well get married now’#and. I’ve never ever ever heard that from a human being before#WHAT DO U MEAN YOULL RUN OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT#I could never#anyways love having my existential crises exacerbated by familial interactions#they just Say Things#I need to study. I’m gonna go do that maybe#actually no I want to complain more. my uncle keeps saying that the problem with space is that there’s only a few cities that work on it.#and that’s gonna limit my choice of partner#(so funny how they say partner. they are very homophobic and have no idea or they’d go THE MAN YOU MARRY like my mother does)#I feel like space is growing…#altho I’m sure that’s what people thought in the 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s#idk some of these bitches have been around since like the 70s and 80s and 90s#so it’s not like they all got fired immediately#my dental hygienist was telling me space was great until Obama slashed the budget#I didn’t have anything to say back considering I was 8 when he was elected and know v little about his policies#anyways. this is a psa to not call ur relatives even to wish them happy bday because then they’ll trap u in conversation and make u question
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I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes
Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:
#art#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#their dynamic is so funny to me like hello what episode of Untucked is this#I am rotating them in a 2 bed 1 bath apartment in my mind#Also very proud of how this turned out I think I'm finally finding a comic rendering style that doesn't make me want to rip my hair out#Simplify baybee it's a comic not an illustration you can get a little crazy with it#Spoiler alert. Getting looser with lineart and better at colour schemes and simplifying shading. Is good actually.#It's so much easier to eyeball what a colour would look like in a setting instead of colourpicking the OG palette and struggling with...#...like 9 overlay and multiply and soft/hard light layers#Approximating colour genuinely looks better than forcing local colour into the piece. As long as the values are still there it works out#comic
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controversial take here but i really hope hetty is on her absolute worst nastygirl/comedic clown behavior in s4 to push back against the poor little meow meow woobification curse shes been experiencing since holes because i am tired
#i almost wish hiles never happened because nobody understands her character anymore lol#few things worse than when your blorbo becomes the character everyone self inserts themselves onto 💔#whenever i get too mad i remind myself that rebecca wisocky views her exactly the same way i do and then i feel better :)#watching an incredibly nuanced female character get flattened out intonthe tragic one who killed herself makes me wanna scream#bc nobody even understands WHY she killed herself and i am ripping my hair out#z#ppl r allowed to interpret the character different from me but i am allowed to think they’re wrong <3#oh no i wrote this at 6am thinking nobody would see it LMAO this is just a personal gripe#obviously people can do whatever they want and i will not stop you or directly argue#play with your dolls however you want and dont let me being a bitch stop you#i just am allowed to be grumpy about it similtaneously 😂
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Some au antag doodles
#keese draws#eternal gales#decided to finally try my hand at drawing au fydd#and decided to also draw the two I’ve already designed#I kinda chickened out hard with this au fydd design but that’s mostly because I don’t know how I’d go about implementing the big thing I cut#I wanted to include a nod at my old tazian (the species I recycled for fydd) worldbuilding by giving him some rainbow ‘hair’#but I definitely am not capable of drawing my vision well enough for my standards rn so maybe one day I’ll go for it but not rn#but long story short in the original version of the species those who were more middling height would have strands of or even entirely#rainbow hair which was like 90% me bullshitting but I have thought of a retroactive excuse#long story short most tazians would either be super tiny or like stupid tall and more middling height ones were rare#but one thing I realized lately is that all my tall ones had white hair and all my short ones had black hair#so the retroactive excuse is that the rainbow is a transitional period that usually indicates young age but can sometimes be permanent if#they don’t end up becoming properly tall#and I wanted to nod at that concept with au fydd since he’s 15 and is what would be considered pretty middling height#but that would mean figuring out how I’d wanna go about coloring that and that would make me lose it#for context fydd’s hair is supposed to be a smidge feathery#and also I like to keep my characters having somewhat manageable color pallets#not that I’m particularly good at that but I try#oh also second biggest failure of this drawing I made it so I couldn’t draw his other eye rip#he’s missing his other eye due to basically completely destroying it in the process of blowing up his original universe#the other two aren’t missing any major design elements that I can think fo fortunately#these three are all favorites of mine amongst the au antags they’re so silly#and by that I mean one of them is a grown ass adult torturing teenagers and the other two are heavily traumatized teenagers that are#helping said grown ass adult torture teenagers#well only one of them is properly helping owl is just here to meet her crush#she genuinely did not think the others would get as far and go as hard as they did#au fydd was the first member of the squad au bloom recruited and he is easily the most loyal to her#he’s also the only one au bloom even mildly gives an actual shit abt#au fydd went through a Lot in his original universe and is very ‘let’s burn it all down’ with his approach to helping#owl also went through a lot but she came out the other end just desperately wanting to stop fighting
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#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak#who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad#and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur#research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a#bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way#i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit#i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like#i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt#wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide#stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the#predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing#i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh.#i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just#send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel#ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart#ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run#this body into the ground. like the good old days.#unrelated
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Alhaitham as a character is great I love how he’s a prick and “as a matter of fact ☝️” and ignores people he doesn’t want to talk to. Absolutely sensational and amazing. But if I met him in real life, as someone in STEM who has to deal with enough men who think they’re better, I would pummel him.
#sorry alhaitham lovers#I think he’s great tho#as a character only#his personality would make me want to rip my hair out#it’s funny as long as it’s not me 😌#genshin impact#alhaitham#also I think it’s fascinating that mihoyo made him in the haravatat darshan which is basically linguistics when the person he’s based on#did research on optometry and was the basis of the scientific method#but I guess that also fits his matter of fact ☝️ personality#I wonder why they decided to make him a linguistics guy I wonder what the direction for that was#I keep calling hoyo mohoyo out of habit oops
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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I NEED A FUCKING HOBBY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#🦈#first thing that comes to mind is crochet which i actually have stuff for crochet HOWEVER. i hate the feeling of knitwear#🫥#like i would be able to do it obvs but making stuff for myself would be a nightmare.#i wanna customise some of my clothes but im ACTUALLY a pussy and i dont wanna ruin them#i got back into reading which slays but the Pull Of The Phone is sm stronger#so i think i need smth like Actively hands on#i want to paint but my tablets are kinda fucking me right in the creativity muscle rn but i kkinda need them to function so#WHAT I ACTUALLY NEED TO DO IS MESSAGE THE GUY ABOUT BASS GUITAR LESSONS#i bought a bass when i bought my car (TWO YEARS AGO) and i havent learned to play.#anyway. kms attacking myself ripping my hair out#i need to figure smth out bc like 10+ years on the computer is sickening
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#im not vagueing anyone specific so if u think this is abt you don't get your underwear twisted okay this is about like. so many ppl.#but it's so fucking frustrating seeing people i know (friends/family/coworkers/etc) going thru so much mental health struggle#often accompanied by physical health issues like weight/skin/pain problems#and knowing their diet is absolutely dogtrash#and trying to come up with a way to tell them that is nice but will maybe get them to think or change their ways#i know i know. you can lead a horse to water and all but it's just fucking agonizing knowing that people are suffering so needlessly#and it would go away if they just put the right food in their bodies#and no this isn't even an injunction to carnivore you can recover significantly with meat-heavy noncarnivore ketogenic diets#but people are so resistant to the idea that they can eat their way out of mental illness even though this is well documented#it just makes me want to rip my hair out that people would really rather stay the same than try something that could make them better#like i really can't fucking relate the whole reason i ended up a carnivore is because i was so *desperate* to be healthy#and trying something for a month just to see sounds so much better than letting everything get worse until i'm literally dying#but then i see so many sick people with garbage diets just completely resist the suggestion that the solution could possibly be so simple#like what more can i do for you? i dont want you to be sick. YOU dont want you to be sick. what do you lose from just trying??#ugh i cant. im so. i know this is going to be my career path but god fucking damn if it isn't infuriating
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Ragnvaldr is somehow one of the most chad characters ever in video game history and he’s from the biggest psychological torture tool masquerading as a video game.
#his s ending… kills everything. leaves. unbothered. ready to kill more things.#obsessed with f&h but I’m not fucking playing that I think it would make me legitimately rip all of my hair out one by one#and I can’t play termina. (baby crying autotuned) dev said they’d work on mac port but it’s difficult w new th os. which is understandable.#love and light to the dev but they’re insane and wanted to drive other ppl insane with the og game I think#wait nas’hrah counts too he also fucking rules
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My mother really out here telling me “you just make all the plans for driving and I’ll work around that” and then a couple days later once I’ve made plans and talked to people about shit she’s like hey actually you should come up a day earlier so you can get your grandparents (who are practically falling apart mentally and physically and my grandfather pisses himself and if he pees in the car that I am both sleeping and driving in I will be upset!!!) in the middle of Maine and drive them to New Hampshire for me bc I will be too tired from getting a three hour flight to go drive them :’( AS IF IM NOT DRIVING SIX HOURS OR MORE EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK HELLO??? YOU CANT DRIVE FIVE HOURS AFTER SLEEPING THE WHOLE TIME ON A THREE HOUR FLIGHT LIKE I KNOW ITS CRAMPED AND MISERABLE BUT YOU’RE GOING TO GO FROM A PLANE TO A NICE RENTAL CAR VS ME SLEEPING IN THE FUCKING TRUNK FOR A WEEK LIKE GIRL WHAT YOU ALREADY TOLD ME TO PLAN EVERYTHING AND NOW YOU’RE MOVING SHIT AROUND AND SHES ALL LIKE “well your aunt is gonna be visiting on the 11th so I have to get a flight on the 12th and then graduation is on the 13th early in the morning so I just won’t have time to go get them” LIKE GIRL THIS IS THE SAME AUNT THAT IS COMING TO OUR HOUSE FOR ONE SINGULAR DAY AND THEN WE WILL SEE HER AGAIN IN NEW HAMPSHIRE WHILE WE ARE ON OUR TRIP LIKE YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME “oh don’t worry about missing her we’re gonna do the graduation party at her house when we’re up north” AND THEN YOU WONT SHIFT YOUR PLANS ONE DAY TO FIX ALL OF THE SCHEDULING CONFLICTS BUT YOU WANT ME TO TWEAK A WHOLE WEEK OF DRIVING PLANS BACK A DAY TO MAKE IT MORE CONVENIENT FOR YOU and also I simply don’t want to. Also the garbage truck just passed bc I slept in and I don’t think we got the garbage out and I know we definitely didn’t get the trash from my room or bathroom out of the house and so now moms gonna be pissed at me for that god fuck this is so infuriating I am not planning a trip while on my period ever again I want to bite my mothers head off for even suggesting an alternate plan what is wrong with me I am such a bitch what the fuck no wonder she fucking hates me okay I am going back to bed she can figure this shit out later when she’s not slamming doors and yelling about work
#I want to rip my hair out#why does she say yeah we can work around whatever plans you make and then immediately she’s like oh haha nevermind#and I know I’m overreacting I know I’m being a bitch and I should fold to my mothers needs or whatever but like simply put I don’t want to#deal with my grandparents (if they were dwarves in Snow White they would be called Naggy and Pissy) and I don’t want to deal with their huge#looming sense of dread bc they both know they are old and losing it and that their kids are dead and we are the only family they care about#and I was already nervous about spending any time with them at graduation and now my mom wants me alone in a car with them for HOURS#like I simply don’t want to and I don’t want to think about dad and I don’t want to think about them and I don’t want to drive the extra#hours or anything like ugh I just don’t want to. I want to get high on Millie’s couch and have a relaxing day after driving that much on the#way up and I want to only have to drive three hours to my brother and I want ti already be there for graduation that morning I don’t want to#go any earlier or later than I had planned bc I planned distances by how much driving I thought I could take at a time and If I add an extra#day of driving I will be exhausted and add emotional exhaustion to that from seeing family and add fucking bitchy mood and being judged on#my music or my driving or being asked about what I plan to do with my life or what have I been doing since dad died or are you okay? is your#mother struggling? (and not being able to talk about my mom going out and dating and getting laid and ignoring my dead father and their dead#son bc it’s the only way she’s coping with any of this anymore)#I just don’t want to. and I hope my mother will step up and change her shit to deal with them but if they don’t I’ll have to deal with it#and just get over it but fuck I really really really don’t want to#it just annoys me that my mother would rather move all of my plans back a day than not see my aunt for what six hours here when we’re#literally going to see her up north like five days later#like can’t you just wait to see her. like she has seen the house before. she knows what a screened in patio looks like. they’ve seen the car#before like they will know if they want the car or not before they see it they know the model and they know it’s sat in our driveway for#months and months like they are aware of the car so you don’t need to say that’s the big important reason for them to visit#I’m such an asshole what the fuck is wrong with me I’m really unwilling to have any changes made to my plans#my brother would fucking bend over backwards and do whatever my mother asks and she is so mad that I’m not like that and I should be why am#I not like that why don’t I do all the shit she does for me why am I such a bitch what is wrong with me#I am already exhausted today I only slept for four hours#I just want to skip to me being on the road already. need to smoke a cigarette at a truck stop out of state it will fix me honestly
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#very shitty and annoying how you can recognize emotional abuse when it's happening to other people#but it takes u 30 years and a broken limb to figure out it was happening to you#THE WHOLE TIME#and the worst part is you can be sputting mad all you want but you can't undo it#and you can't even throw blame at their feet because THEY DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE DOING IT#fuck this why im scared to have kids#like i know i would avoid my parents' mistakes but id make my own because my damage would come out in ways I wouldn't notice#and 30 years from now it's MY kid ripping their hair out in frustration after therapy#such is the human condition i suppose but if i were to have children i would want them to think of me as a good parent#i would want to do right by them as much as possible and i just don't know if i COULD#it would be easier if i genuinely did not want children but i actually DO i just don't know how uh#wise a choice that would be
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I was thinking like factually speaking why the heck does alhaitham like kaveh in the beginning and how did they even become friends like cause alhaitham frequently doesn’t care abt ppl who try to talk to him. Kaveh embodies the qualities alhaitham usually seems to ignore unless I’m missing something. I’m not talking abt why he likes him now (that’s a mixture of guilt and distance making him want to mend things and those make for some strong emotional pushes is why) but I’m saying why did he like him in the first place ?!
The thing is with the opposite personalities mesh well argument is that there’s so much difference one could tolerate to balance the other out, there MUST be some commonality, but the commonality for them is not very pronounced enough for them to even consider being friends in the get go. Which brings my to the conclusion that perhaps people like alhaitham have some quality that I just haven’t cracked the code to yet.
The reason I bring this up to begin with is that I don’t understand people like him as much as I do kaveh, albeit me mining alhaitham a lot. The thing is alhaitham shares a lot of his traits with my brother and I share a lot with kaveh so like our dynamics seem to mirror one another. Thats interesting cause when my brother similarly broke my trust and all hope I was trying so desperately hard to place on him I ended up distancing myself from him completely, I would frequently ignore him and emotionally cut him off as much as I can. Not that I’d assume he cared I just thought this is what he wanted + I was hurt from his actions, My brother isn’t the type to grovel anyways or feel guilt for that type of thing so I just was like well that’s the end of our relationship forever I suppose.
But then something odd happened, he seemed to care and notice my distance. Coming as an over energetic over enthusiastic chatterbox I presume the absence of my yapping and energy seemed off, he used to always try to talk to me (but I’d completely ignore him) or act friendly to me or just try to engage with me to some capacity but I wouldn’t give him the time of day because he had proven to me at one point that I am nothing to him anyways (and as someone who always tried so hard to be his friend I gave up in that moment which catalysed this dynamic now). He seemed to me to try to go out of his way to talk to me now maybe feeling a little confused or guilty (?) because I don’t think he knows what he did wrong
Regardless my point is that the ppl who are similar to alhaitham for some reason tend to gravitate to their polar opposites seeming to me when it’s too late. Which is an interesting reaction because anyone who knows them would’ve assumed they wouldn’t go out of their way to do so but here we are. My dilemma is that I want to know why because no matter the amount of debunking and thinking I do it just makes no sense to me and everyone knows I think and reason a lot so 😞🙏
So cycling back to the first sentence that’s why I’m awfully confused as to why someone like alhaitham would like someone like kaveh. And why do they feel that guilt ? Even though they royally mess up but you’d have assumed that their lack of emotional maturity and intelligence in that regard would’ve rendered them the equivalent of a potato taking action to right their wrongs.
#IT MAKES NO SENSE#maybe cause my head hurts in a weird way my eyes hurt and people do not leave me alone I was gonna pounce on my mum#literally she’s annoying me smmmm cause every time she just opens the door then I want to rip my hair out like DONR OPEN THE DOOR LEAVE ME#ALONE A CLOSED DOOR MEANS EVERYONE IS TO FUCK OFF 😭#I am so overstimulated rn like if someone gets in my room I would probably bawl my eyes out because just leave me alone 😭#anyways back to the topic I might not know the. answer to my questions because I’m too overstimulated to think properly#dora daily#oh my god this is a whole ass essay pls#.#like okay for my brother we’re siblings so we’re kinda tied to each other#kaveh and alhaithams case is far more interesting because alhaitham isn’t tied down#so why ????
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